| A
male
,
*akim
writes: It's a bit late right now, so I'll go ahead and cut to the chase. I've got a job that requires me to be up early, 3:30 am early, as I start at 5 am. My girlfriend and I, we made this promise that she wouldn't stay over past 9-9:30 on days when I have to work the next morning, as it causes me noticeable exhaustion during and after work. That lasted about a week, and now it's to the point where I have to ask her to leave so I can get to sleep on time, which results in her thinking I don't want to be with her. She swears promises are so important to her, and she's devastated if I ever break one of mine, even by accident, but this is the only one I've asked her to keep, and it's the only one she won't, or can't. She works late, I can understand this, but she's always saying that I can just take a nap after I get back from work. We've already tried that, though, and it's hard to handle an 8-9 hour shift with 3-4 hours of sleep, especially that early in the morning. Just now, around 9:30, she started hinting that we should do something that will, knowing us, take about an hour to complete. I tried my best to say no without hurting her because it was late, but once again, it was taken as I don't want you here right now. I love her, I want to be with her. But I can't just leave this job, I've been with the company for over a year, and I'm due for a promotion next week. How can I get her to keep her promise without hurting her? Or am I just doomed to continue to work exhausted? I just realized how long my post is, but my need is dire, and I don't know what to do. Please help me! =/ Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, floraltemptaions  +, writes (5 June 2007):
Remind her that your job is possibly her future. If you get the promotion, that means a better life for her in the long run.... and your not likely to get the promotion if your only doing a half ass job because your tired. Tell her you want to spend time with her, but you really need to balance your life, so you work, to make $, to be able to spend time with her and do the things you and her want to do in life. If you lay it out so that in the long run it affects her, she may understand a little better (as some people are just a little self centered when it comes to how much time they get to spend with you... myself being one of those!!! I can relate completely to her not wanting to leave.)
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 June 2007):
 Yep talk to her. Tell her you're exhausted and she needs to let you get a good night's sleep on work nights. If she truly cares about you she will make sure you get it.
...............................
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (5 June 2007):
 Sit her down, and say to her " I really REALLY don't want to hurt you by saying this, but sometimes I need you to leave a bit earlier, it's not that I don't want to see you, it's the fact that work is becoming more challenging and I need to get to sleep early enough because it's becoming more exhausting. I think maybe we should sort out a timetable kinda thing that lets me see you when I can but so that my work isn't affected."
I think you need to be honest with her whether she goes off on one or not because if you don't tell her, she can't mind read. I think you have to be brutally honest with her. If she gets angry then she is not even trying to understand how you feel or what kind of pressure you're under, in which case you need to tell her that she has to understand the situation because it's gettin out of hand.
...............................
|
