A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I don't know what to do about my relationship with my girlfriend, and I was wondering if I could get some advice. We started off fine and all, but recently things haven't been so great. I'm already about to graduate college but she just started. At first, she talked about wanting to explore casual sex with other people and all, but that she still "loved me." I found that hard to believe and very hurtful, but she did it anyway. I finally decided that I'd do the same, but when she realized that I had done what she was doing, she became enraged and things haven't been the same since. She measured hers against mine, saying I went farther than she did, even though I didn't engage in sex with the woman (nor did she), but basically "hooked up" with her, as did my girlfriend with the guys she "hooked up" with. But now, at school, she's become really distant from me, and she acts weird around me, like, not very intimate, at all. She tells me that she doesn't want to commit to anything right now cause of her busy life, and I understand, but she also says she's planning on continuing her relationship with me after she's done for the semester. But I can't help but feel that she's doing things with other people, especially because she constantly talks about how "hot" the guys at her school are. Am I just paranoid, or will I lose her? Any advice would be great! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): hi there, personally i dont think that this is a relationship worth pursuing.. it sounds like shes using you, she wants to hook up with other boys, but she doesnt want you doing the same and she wants you to put up with it and love her all the same! you cant have your cake and eat it too! do you feel that this relationship might go somewhere? there are plenty of other girls that will want you and only you so i think you can do much better, it sounds like shes calling all the shots so maybe you need to take a stand and lay down some rules of your own! sorry if im being harsh but shes obviously hurting you... maybe if you give her an ultimatum? but if you do that then she may go behind your back, so think carefully about whether you want someone who messes you around or you want someone who loves only you...
hope it helps
good luck x
A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (4 April 2007):
 hello
there is a standerd for our behaiver as humans so what your gf doing got nouthing to do with human behaiver so you tell your self "FORGET ABOUT HER"or you talk to her and tell her stop it and if not then go on your own way.
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): I personally don't think that someone who loves you could do something like "exploring casual sex" with others. It's hurtful and disrespectful of your feelings. She sounds like a control freak, and she's trying to get you to feel bad about something that she started herself, and she's annoyed that she didn't have complete control over you after all. Now, she's putting you off until she "feels like" continuing your relationship, and who knows when she'll decide she doesn't want to anymore? I'm sorry to say this, but it doesn't sound like she really cares for you very much. My advice would be to forget about her and move on to someone who will take you more seriously.
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