A
male
age
41-50,
*ortimer
writes:I need some advice about my girlfriend. Recently it's come to my attention that her new boss has been texting my lady late at night. She dosen't know I've seen them and as soon as she reads them she deletes them. For the most part the texts I've seen aren't what bothers me but the time at which there sent. He will call her sunshine and other "pet names" but it should be said that she dosen't always respond. We've been together for 4+ years and things for the most part seem great. A few months ago I went out and even bought a ring with the intent to propose on our anniversary. This new job she took is taking up alot more time and I fear that all this time spent away is hurting our relationship. The week before her trip I asked how she was planning to get to the airport and she replied that she was going to meet her boss at work and then ride over with him. I told her that despite having to get up at 4am I would get up to at least say goodbye. I also suggested instead of her boss parking at the airport that we could pick him up since he lives close to us. The night before her trip she told me that it would just be her and I going to the airport and that her boss would have a relative pick his car up from the airport. I found this to be slightly suspicious but whatever. Later that night she went tanning and I could tell she was preparing her nicest clothing for the trip including taking a new LouisVitton purse that he bought her months ago (for a job well done of course)but she's never used....that is untill now. As she frantically packed untill midnight I stayed downstairs. She came down and what happened next you'll never believe!!!! She accused me of acting distant and said that on our last night together we should be more kissy kissy lovey dovey. I told her that since she didn't get home untill 7 and after her last min. errands,tanning and packing that I too felt like we should have some romantic alone time but that it just didn't happen. She flipped out and said that she would just not go on the trip and she'd quit her job because I seemed jealous. WHAT????JEALOUS??????? Where did that come from? Let me tell you people that I in now way acted jealous, suspicious maybe but not jealous.I told her that I loved her, I trust her and all I want is for her to have a sucessful trip and come back to me safe. She almost cried and then told me how much she loved me. She held my hand the whole way to the airport and has texted me and called me every step of the way so far. When I left the airport, when she got to NY for a connecting flight, when she arrived in Europe and again just to say goodnight coincidentally as I'm writting this. She tells me she misses me and loves me very much and that she wishes I was there. I feel as though I might be paranoid but this is so common for workplace romance nowindays espically on business trips. What do you think
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (1 October 2007):
I think her boss is making a play for her and she is being torn up by it. She may have to quit to get the boss off her back. Sad.
A
female
reader, JackieR  +, writes (30 September 2007):
 I think your girlfriends boss really fancies her, and your girlfriend is secretly liking the attention he gives her and the way he makes her feel which makes her feel guilty because of you, which is why she flipped out at you and put the blame on you for acting jealous!!!
Before you flip out, there is good news. It is a good sign that your g/friend feels guilty and also that she has contacted you constantly while she has been away, the fact that she is liking her boss's behaviour means that she is human so relax.
When she comes back pull out all the stops and really treat her and be as romantic as you can be, and remind her of why she is with you and not anyone else.
When you have been together for a while it is easy to let things slide and not make any effort with each other, so really crank up the loving when she gets back, and stop worrying!!
Good luck.
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