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male
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*urtslikehell
writes: Hello, ok, so here is my situation. I've been with my g/f for about a year and 8 months. We've broken up during this relationship about 3 times now. The first in march, she left me, calls me back the next day. I agree to see her, back together, then again in May, this time it's because of something that a psychic told her, he told her to wait 2 weeks and then see if she still wants me. I told her that she was out of her mind, it's either you do or you don't. She said it was a big mistake back together again. then she left me again Dec 24th christmas eve. How nice you say? IT gets better. During our relationship we've gone through her telling me about her melanoma, Miscarriage and a lot of emotional abuse, as I like to call it. Still for some reason I love this girl. She had started talking to her ex-b/f in May. He called her about his grandfather being sick. I understood they were together for 5 years. somethign like that sure, I'm fine with it. the calls were getting to be more frequent. Shit, they were daily 5 or 6 times a day 30 to 40 minutes each call. I found out because I felt like there was soemthing wrong, I look at her calls. I asked her and she just said ok, it'll stop. Then during July, she had sent me a bunch of e-mails with jokes and things like that. and one of them read, "How are you" it wasn't meant for me. It was meant for a friend of hers that she hadn't spoken to in sometime. The e-mail said, from my g/f. Lot's been going one she's going to be an aunt, and that she had broken up with her ex-b/f a year ago, but we started talking again and it looks like we'll be getting back together again by the end of the summer. I almost fell over. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I confronted her about it and she said read the rest of it. It says it's not going to happen becuase I still love you. She talked her way out of that one.Then there was a wedding we were suppose to go to. and wouldn't you know it, it never happen she told me a story that the groom to be had a bacholer party it went too far, and the bride called it off. The bride was so distraught over it she ended up in the hospital, scratched her face, bumped her head.... very bad!Months go by, I was fixing someones computer, and guess what I find? Pictures of the wedding. SHe was there with her ex-b/f, I went nuts, I go home, packed up all her things and called said take all your things and get out of my life right now. (with more colorful words mind you)I couldn't believe the story she made up. I was shocked. at this time I asked her to tell me everything. They met for coffee a few times, the talk on the phone a lot, they talked about me, and what a great guy I am. really? and you treat a great guy like this? very good. Teaches me to be such a "great Guy"We get together again, some time passes and I notice I'm getting bad feelings again. She tells me one day that she's going to a lingerie party, calling me all night telling me what she's going to buy. this is around Halloween. Now, more time passes, and her friend wants to take some sexy picture of her for her b/f birthday. They call me to see If I can edit the pictures. I said ok, they briing the camera over, and in the camera ther was pictures of her friend, and b/f, her sister, and my g/f with her ex all dressed up in halloween get up. she wore the nice get up she wore with me a week later. I remember the day she went too, I was out shopping for her, picking up books and all sort of things because she's a school teacher, and didn't have the time to go. I do all that, and she does this to me? How cold is she? She tells me to pick things up for her, and then she takes him to a party? I felt like an ass. I told her to get out of my house, her friend was crying please don't leave her, she was crying too "I told you it was all over, that was then, no more, please don't leave me". Fine! what an ass I am.Now it's christmas eve, we were suppose to go to my brothers for dinner, and the next day to her sisters for dinner. but she goes home, and I call her, where are you, She said we have to talk. I told her forget it, just come pick your things up and get out, and she did this time. I knew she was going back to her ex. that night I went home after my brothers house, and got really drunk, went online only to notice that her ex was online too. I said hello, and asked if he was with my pain in the ass, and he said we're together, but she's not here right now. I asked if they had sex during the time we were together he said "no, just move on jerk" I'm a jerk? So, being drunk I ended up sending him a very privet picture of me and her. Oops did I do that? hahahahaha -- Even she thought it was a good one, he didn't like it too much but, he should have been nicer to me. Christmas night she calls me crying, the only reason I picked up the phone was because my friends were worried about me calling me all day and night, She called at around 12:30pm-- I asked what does she want? She said she misses me, it was all a mistake, she said she needs help and that she's going to seek help ASAP, a week later she calls me again and asks me if I can take her to see a psychologist. I agree, I take her they spoke for over an hour, and then they call me in, he told me what she's done to me, she told him everything. and he said there wasn't any sex involved, but you seem to still have feelings for her, why don't you give it another chance, I said as long as she comes here and fix her head I'll try and give it another chance,She had to agree never ever to speak to her ex again. well, what do you think happend. 2 weeks later, she calls her ex, and writes it down, because thats her new thing. to write down eveything. So I read it in her orgenizer that she likes so much. I asked to see it. she said sure. so I read that when she sees her ex, she's afraid that I was going to find out. and that everytime she tells her ex the truth he gets upset. So I ask her what gives, she tried to talk her way out of it but it didn't work. I didn't feel pain, I felt nothing but foolish. She said I'll move in with you, do anything you want. one more chance, I said no more, you're never going to change. SO whats the moral to the story? A leopard doesn't change it's spots. She still calls me and tells me how she misses me. and for some stupid reason unknown to me, I still miss her. but I won't call her. What do you think?wow, sorry that was long. lol
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male
reader, hurtslikehell +, writes (12 February 2007):
hurtslikehell is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI broke yesterday and answerd her call. dont' know why really. maybe I just wanted to hear what she had to say? all I heard was her parents sceaming at eachother. "You ruind this girl. Look at her, does she look happy"? This was the mother to the father. It was like pure hatred screams.
I really don't know where and when things really went wrong. It was great, she was very happy, and then a downward spiral. and it happend very fast.
She told me yesterday that her when her parents were screaming the mother also said something about my ex being in family therapy when she was 3 years old. She was a nervous wreck. at 3 years of age? She doesn't remember anything about it, but her sister told her that she does and remembers that they had to draw pictures of thier family.
Her father is a milatary guy, and that's how he raised them, but he was hard on my ex because he thought that she was the strongest of them all. look at what he did to her. She in need in some deep very deep psychological help. The problem is that her therapist is nuts too. He told her that he can't meet with her because he has a fungus growing in a very sensitive area. I was beside myself.
He thought that her father was the cause of all this. the mother thought the whole thing was his fault. The mother said to her that she really loved me, the thing with the ex was her just trying to relive her childhood.
But no matter what it was. It caused me pain. too much pain. and I either have to learn to forgive and foget. or just leave for good.
They say it's divine to forgive. but what is it to forget? to forget the pain she put me through. How can I?
A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r  +, writes (11 February 2007):
wow,how many times does a person have to lie to you befor you pick it up?get out of the relationship, stop talking to her...avoid eye contact.tell her shes lost you for good, even as a friend.its the only way youll ever be happy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): Your Ex-Girlfriend, she may actually have prolems with herself, or just simply treating you like dirt underneth her shoes. And believe it or not, she's messing her Ex-Boyfriend, too. Dumping him, running back to you. Dumping you, running back to you. It's a never ending cycle, and you really need to break out of it, even if it's really hard for you. You sound like a decent man, and you deserve a decent woman.
This woman, to me, sounds like a pathetic little thirteen year old. I'm sorry, but she does! But like I said before, she might actually have something wrong with her and needs help. Perhaps something had happened to her in the past, who knows? Either way, though, you need to stop seeing her before you get back into the cycle again. Wouldn't that just be lovely?
Get your friends and family to support you, because you will need them the most. Just be strong and you will pull through. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (10 February 2007):
 I think you're way too good for her to be honest, and that you deserve someone who treats you with love and respect, not as her personal doormat which she can wipe her feet on whenever she feels it convenient to her. I mean what kind of person does this to someone she claims to love?
I think you've given her enough chances, and she is saying "one more chance" to you because she thinks it is that magic phrase which fixes everything. As I said before you are waaaay too good for her. Going out with somebody else will help you to see this.
The bottom line is that her using you is only going to stop when you say "it's over - end of story". Be strong. Good luck.
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