A
female
age
36-40,
*safinest88
writes:I met my boyfriend in my class freshman year of college we have only been together for maybe three months. we hung out and were friends before. I dont know his friends he knows some of my friends and i tell him about them all the time. I try to be honest with him when it comes to who i am hanging out with. I really like him and i have trust issues probably becuase i cheated on my ex-boyfriend who i dated for two years a while back. He is six years older and i feel like there is a big difference between us. Everytime i see some other girl i think would he go out with her would he cheat on me with her? I just want to trust him I dont know how.
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female
reader, TygersDream  +, writes (10 February 2007):
 Before we tackle your trust/karma issues, I think we need to take a step back and examine your relationship first. I know there's a Cosmopolitan magazine out there that rates how serious your relationship is by his actions towards you ie. introducing you to his friends as his girlfriend. Three months isn't that long yet, but surely you must have met one or some of his friends by now, right?
Maybe you have trust issues because you don't think he's treating you that seriously as a girlfriend. As it is, it's not that big a problem. Since it's only been 3 months, you guys might still be in that early phase of a relationship where you're both wondering whether this is a serious relationship or a casual one.
Just for kicks, there's a quiz on this website that will calculate whether you have a casual/serious relationship:
http://dating.about.com/od/datingquizzes/a/SeriousRelation.htm
I wouldn't substitute ordinary common sense and reality with it, but it might give you a general idea of what your relationship is at the moment.
If it's bothering you, have a chat with him about where you guys are at. Before you do this, you have to be clear about your own needs first. Don't overreact or get dramatic, just treat the subject calmly.
Treat THIS relationship every day as it comes and leave your trust/karma issues behind. Don't blindly trust him, of course, but at the same time, don't pile your paranoia on top of him. Be REALISTIC, and use your common sense.
As for your imaginations about what girl he'd be going off with? I'd drop it for the sake of your sanity - the girls guys usually go off with are not even worth HALF the time you spent fretting about whether Betty at the gym has better teeth or a better education than you.
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