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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Will we ever be together again??My gf and I dated for 6 years. We are both 24. Anyways our relationship was good. We were both deeply in love. In the summer she said that she felt like she had drifted apart from me and that if felt like she only loved me as a friend and not a boyfriend. We talked it out and agreed that we have to start doing more stuff together and doing new things to keep the relationship from getting boring. She wanted to take a break back then and felt like it might of been to late to fix the problem. Anyways she agreed to try fixing the relationship. We started doing new stuff and spending more time together and she started saying how she loves me soo much and that everything is better now. She would talk about marriage and how she loved me soo much. That was a month ago (beginning of dec.). A couple of days before christmas she was actting weird so i asked her whats wrong. She said she feels like she still loves me as just a friend and not as a boyfriend. Anyways we split up last night. Her reason for the break up was that she felt the relationship had gotten boring and that because of that it lead her to feel like she loved me just as a friend and not a bf. She said that I am the perfect guy that she wants to be with and that she could see me as a future husband but because of the boring relationship she feels like she has missed out on spending time with her friends and dong other fun stuff. She said that all that stuff we can fix to make the relationship unboring but right now her heart and feelings toward me have changed. I told her that I can not be there for her as just a friend as I am still deeply in love with her and she said that she respects that even though she would love for us to stay in contact. I spoke with her friends and sister and they say that she is really confused about everything right now in her life and just to give her space.What are the chances of her coming back? and is there anything that I can do to increase the chances?Sorry for the long question. Just a lot of details to fit in.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to add some details, we officially broke up in december and I told her that we shouldn't have contact atleast for a month so it would sink in for both of us. She was the one that kept calling me. Also one day i didn't answer her calls and then 2 days later she tried again and she was sooo happy that she could actually talk to me. Another thing is that she would avoid it when I kept saying that this is the last time we are going to see each other. She would say that she doesn't want to think of it being the last time. She also told me that if I go somewhere for more then a month to email her and let her know so that she knows that i'm not around for awhile. Also if my phone number changes to let her know.After we broke up she would tell me that she keeps dreaming about me and everything reminds her of me. And she told me to move on because she feels bad if I wait for her. Also she broke down crying really bad at the restaurant when she said that she is scared that if something happens to me that she will never know. She also told me not to listen to my friends who are saying to let her go and never talk to her again. She told me I should listen to what my heart wants not my friends!??!? Are any of these things signs towards her just being confused and needs to miss me?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): I forgot to add some details, we officially broke up in december and I told her that we shouldn't have contact atleast for a month so it would sink in for both of us. She was the one that kept calling me. Also one day i didn't answer her calls and then 2 days later she tried again and she was sooo happy that she could actually talk to me. Another thing is that she would avoid it when I kept saying that this is the last time we are going to see each other. She would say that she doesn't want to think of it being the last time. She also told me that if I go somewhere for more then a month to email her and let her know so that she knows that i'm not around for awhile. Also if my phone number changes to let her know.After we broke up she would tell me that she keeps dreaming about me and everything reminds her of me. And she told me to move on because she feels bad if I wait for her. I don't know if these will help determine what she is thinking?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 I just re-read my answer, I hope you know I meant between the ages of 18 and 24.... not 14. What a silly mistake. Ahh!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for both your answers and i know that i have to be patient and respect her space. Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 Hi there
In a long relationship there are two things that happens as time goes by it is either you grow apart or you grow closer. And I think you guys grew apart so don’t feel bad I know you love her but a rship is a two way if the other wants out let them out because forcing things might just add more wreckage to the heart, let her sort herself out and you need to love her enough to respect that.
About you guys having a chance it is not something one can tell, your gf feels differently right now which complicates things and I think from conception she felt the same way but confused it for “loving u as a man” but over time her real feelings came out as the excitement was gone and she realised she is not into you as a bf, learn to appreciate her honesty and keep the friendship if possible maybe in time she will open her heart as she grow fonder and you might have a chance.
If she is not asking you to wait, you mustn’t wait for her, if you are meant to be your hearts will find each other. Remember she is the one who knows the real truth for this break-up it might be she said she loves you as a friend as a way of letting u down easily, so that u wont complicate things for her. But either way leave her alone be her friend if she wants that but don’t be hopeful move on; maybe after six yrs is what u need right now a change. Good luck
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 January 2007):
I think her friends and her sister are right. She sounds pretty confused and it sounds like she just needs some time by herself to figure out more about who SHE is and what she wants in her life. Usually the time between 18 and 14 is used to do some self exploration and prioritizing your own life. Career? Marriage? Traveling?
I know you love her and it sounds like she geniunely cares about you. But what she needs right now is space to sort out her life and determine what (and who) she wants in it.
Patience is a difficult thing to master, but I think that is what is needed from you right now. Give her time... and in the meantime, you can do some self-exploration as well!
To answer your questions, her chances of coming back: not sure. a good chance she will. a good chance she won't.
is there anything you can do to increase the chance?: yes. be cool with giving her space, and really give it to her. Space doesn't mean call her every other day. Space means SPACE.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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