A
female
age
36-40,
*eminChanel
writes:I've been there for my gf. I gave her a place to stay when she almost got evicted. I give her rides whenever she needed to handle her business. Just being there for her. But she does things so last minute and she expects for me to jump up and go along with whatever she has to do. For instance, her friends offered her a place to stay. She's gonna be moving in from now until the beginning of next month. I'm excited for her and everything but she wants to go out to the current apartment tonight to set off a flea bomb. (Her dogs had fleas before she gave them away.) Understandable, yes. But by the time I get to my place (where she will be) it's going to be 12. Now I have to go get her, get the flea bomb, go to her place (another hour away), and try to make it back home so I can get some sleep before work. (I'll be working 1st shift). Am I wrong for telling her "no"? I just hate that she tries to do things so last minute and then if you don't go along with her plan, you're the worst person that ever existed. Should I just bite the bullet and be dog tired for 1st shift or what? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): She sounds more high maintenance compared to you. And that's fine, if you can live with that and appreciate her for who she is.
Definitely talk to her when she makes these requests for you to drop everything -- explain that sometimes it won't work because you're busy.
A
female
reader, GeminChanel +, writes (9 July 2011):
GeminChanel is verified as being by the original poster of the question if she has it she puts gas in the car, but its occasionally when i bring her to her destination. she helps with food.its hard to take care of the necessities with the bills and my food stamps are literally not doing any justice. she does her share, but i rarely ask for anything unlike her. i try to take care of things before i ask anyone for anything. i seems like girls like her are girls that i usually fall for. i never realize it until i start having strong and undeniable feelings for them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): I think she's so accustomed to you doing whatever she needs done, that she doesn't expect you to say no to anything now.
Your job is your well-being; it's how you pay the bills. It's more important that setting off a flea bomb in the old apartment.
You need to have a conversation with your girlfriend about this problem -- and yes, it is a problem. Tell her that you care very much about her, but you do have a job and you do have things that you need to get done, too. Explain that you want to help her, but sometimes it isn't possible, especially when she makes plans last minute and expects you to follow through with them.
It's OK to say no to her requests! And I DO have to ask: does she ever do anything to help you?
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