| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: well when me an mygirlfriend wants to have sex it wont gwt hard an shes very very hot but it just wont get up
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male
reader, Emancipator  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Its called "performance anxiety", and happens to A LOT more guys than they admit ^ but as the kind and righteous realist has admitted it does happen none the less. It all happens from the lack of connection between you and your partner during sex. I dont mean you dont click, or you dont love each other. I meaa you are both putting yourselves in a different state of mind in the lead up to sex. This sexual state of mind, thus fails to accomadate on your need to feel comfortable, especially considering you find your girlfriend obviously beautiful (and maybe shes more attractive than yourself?). This can ultimately make you uncomfortable.
You need to go into sex, as if its a natural and normal continuation of being together; dont put yourself in a different state of mind, and just continue being yourselfs. Talk to each other more, make jokes, laugh, comfort each other in your insecurities. Sex isnt all silence and groans like the porn, its a loving and fun activity. If your penis is functional in other contexts i.e. masturbation and the morning erections, I'd say it was performance anxiety. However if you fail ever to recieve and erection it might be Erectile dsyfunction. With you however, Its most definitely the former, you're young, it happens!
Next time, be less fearful of your performance, and how beautful your girl is, and be more thankful and grateful. Good luck soldier... Josh.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I think your just nervous probably because she is so attractive and its intimidating. I had that problem when I first started having sex. You just have to take the time with foreplay to relax and get into it. It won't take long, probably after the first time you won't have any problems with it. Try to get her to give you a bit of a hand or blow job before sex.
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