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*chillin6987
writes: I just wanted some help on this situation. Me and my Girlfriend have been together a year and 2 months now. I'm 17, she's 22. Yea she's old for me.We have been together off and on. We are now, we have a kid together. She already has a 3 year old. There's been a lot of of drama about "cheating". I haven't actually never cheated on her, never. When we were just talking and trying to work things out she told me she loved me and I told her I love her and nothing will mess our thing up. I really love her no matter what but came to find that she slept with this guy when she was pregnant with my kid last year. I found out I was just shocked and upset. I mean my kid was in her and she's gonna do something like that. I never slept with no one while we were together and now she is just being very weird and acting different. I mean I trust her, but then I don't. I ask her to be honest with me, and she yells and says she is. I mean the other night after she got off work she told me that she had to go to her girlfriend's house and give her some medicine. She was over there for a long time until bout 4 in the morning. It's just some things I've been noticing. I hope she hasn't cheated on me, but if someone out there can gimme some feedback, I would appreciate it.Justin
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): wel im in the same situation my girlfreind i happedn to read some of her texts an shes been flirting an iv caut her out twice how can i find out if she has cheated an if she is intending so agen ? answers much appreciated
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reader, Blightybloke +, writes (7 May 2005):
Justin, you're in a bit of a pickle aren't you, son? Okay, let's break this down into bite-size chunks; Firstly, you're 17 and have a child with this woman, who already has a 3 year old in the picture? Already this spells trouble to my mind, do you really think that you're old enough for this much commitment? Obviously I don't have a clue who you are and know nothing about you but I think it's universally accepted that 17 is young to have parenthood thrust upon them. Secondly, you're worried that she may be cheating? She's out until 4 in the morning giving a friend medicine? Okay, I've got sidetracked when over a friend's but 4am!? Also she has admitted sleeping with someone else when she was pregnant with your child - were you 'between' relationships at this point? If you were then it's still a nasty thing to do - did she know this guy? Or was it a one-off? Either way, and I don't want to cause offence, it sounds pretty nasty, and if you were together then I wouldn't even stay with this woman. Thirdly, at the end of the day the children have to come first. Okay it's a cliche but it's also the right thing - by the sound of it, this woman completely controls the relationship which she chooses to walk out of and back into and it sounds like you're just playing catch-up with it all. Your 'thing' with her sounds completely self-destructive. Do you want your own child growing up in this environment? I doubt it. I think it's time to take a long hard look in the mirror at yourself and ask yourself what you want in life and what you're going to do about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2005): Dear Justin,Hi there. You know what I am going to say already probably. If she has done it to you once before and whilst pregnant with your child what makes you think that she is any different now? I am NOT saying that she is cheating on you but if not, why get so defensive and yell? There really is only one way of knowing for certain and that is to ask her outright. If she still insists there is nothing going on with anyone else and you still aren`t sure then you can always check, but please don`t go over the top and stalk her.Don`t forget that she has planted this seed of doubt in your mind as far as her commitment to your relationship is concerned, hasn`t she, and you deserve to know the truth. Take care Justin. best of luck.
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reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (7 May 2005):
I wouldn't trust her if I was you, in fact I would say get the hell out! But...you have a child which complicates matters...If she has to go to her girlfriends house to give medicine, why don't you go too? There's no reason why you can't go, if its genuine.Has a 3yr old, hmm...if you can (and know where the father is) why not ask why they broke up? She has already cheated on you once...even when she was pregnant! She has a 3yr old and does not live with the father of that 3 yr old...acting wierd...I think she's been cheating on you, maybe the girlfriend is her ex and gone to see the father fo the other child? Shame ONCE again. The child is going to get hurt because of this, but there is no reason why you have to put up with it, perhaps its a good idea for you to split up before the child grows to get attached to you and perhaps you can arrange to see the child every now and then, BUT...the father has a human right but not a legal right in these situations normally, I'm sure you have heard of Fathers4Justice....Good Luck ;)
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