A
male
age
30-35,
*lack Kite
writes:Hi everybody. I am having trouble handling my gf. She does not tell me if she's unhappy with me even though i asked her. She does not tell me a lot of things too. Like for example, when i could not spend christmas with her last year, she was pretty upset and her friend told me. When i asked her about me not spending christmas with her, she just said "it was okay". I noticed she hides a lot of things from me. Her friend says that she says that its for my own good. And recently she hasn't been contacting me much. If i don't start a conversation, she'll never start a conversation at all. Whenever i called her friend, i would discover something new that my gf hasn't told me before. Like for example, there are a lot of guys that are going after her and they're all on to her. I'm rather stressed out because i'm afraid i'll lose her to another guy! please help! thanks in advance
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (3 February 2007):
 Okay, in relation to the Christmas issue because that's the one you used.... In that case I would have been highly apologetic about not being able to spend Christmas with my partner and I would have suggested perhaps having our own Christmas on a different day. I think she would have considered that such a sweet gesture that it would havw allayed some of the sadness about not being able to spend Christmas day together. I guess that when you feel she's not being open with you ask her if everything is okay and give her a hug. It'll probably make a lot of difference.
CD
A
male
reader, Black Kite +, writes (3 February 2007):
Black Kite is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply, brooke5426. You have a point there. So I shouldn't trust everything she says huh...? So what should i do? Just rely on my own instincts? (I'm qutie inexperience... First time in a relationship)
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A
male
reader, Black Kite +, writes (3 February 2007):
Black Kite is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you cd206 for your wonderful reply. Might I ask how do I be more sensitive? I'm kind of a noob here...
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (3 February 2007):
Stop talking to her mates. You're too old to only talk about each other through your mates now. Trust me, it'll just open a whole new can of worms. By not telling you how she really feels your girlfriend is trying to protect your feelings. She probably knew how bad you felt about Christmas so didn't want you to feel bad about her so told you it was okay and vented on her best friend, like all girls do. No girl will ever tell you everything about herself. All you can do is try to be sensitive about these things.
CD
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (3 February 2007):
 sounds like a lot of it is coming from her friend. Communication is so important in a relationship so explain your girlfriend that if she doesnt tell you how she feels about things and doesnt let you "in", then your relationship will fail at some point. But also keep in mind, her friend could be trying to cause trouble by telling you that she was unhappy with you at christmas and that a lot of other guys are after her. It might not even be true.
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