A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy on the internet a few months ago and to start with i was just looking for fun and having a laugh, if i'm honest i just wanted a bit of attention. now i've fallen in love with him. he's in love with me too. and i know that people often say you cant fall in love with someone you havent met but believe me, i am in love with him. the only thing is i have lied to him about absolutely everything. i sent him pictures of another girl and told him its me, i told him i'm half american when i'm not cos i know he loves america and always wanted an american girlfriend, i even lied about my name, i told him i'm a millionaire and i told him my parents died recently. all rubbish. i really love him though and dont want to lose him. what can i do? xxx
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (3 February 2007):
 I agree that you can love someone you have never met and you probably do love him. He doesnt love you. He doesnt even know your name. Since it is you asking for advice here and not him, i would advise you to go back to wherever you met him from, i'm assuming it was myspace or something where you make a profile, make another profile of YOU this time being completely honest and putting pictures of you on it and introduce yourself to him that way. being honest. about everything! But in all truthfulness if it was him asking for advice after all of that i would advise him to run for the hills.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): I am going to have to say I think you have told too many lies for this to ever go any further. Any real relationship needs to be based on truth. I think perhaps you weren't really ready for a relationship at the time, the reason you told all these lies is because of your insecurities, not because you were looking for fun and having a laugh, but, by getting to know this guy you have realised that you can have and deserve a real relationship, and this experience has prepared you emotionally for a proper relationship.
You may feel you love this guy, but put some trust in other people when they say you can not truly love someone you've never met - you'll see this when you experience the real thing with someone.
I think you need to start accepting that you have already lost this guy. After all, he doesn't even know you, does he? He's "in love" with someone that doesn't exist. Put this experience in the past, concentrate on your friends and family and you will meet a guy with whom you can be your true self with. I'm sure you've learnt from this, all the best.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (3 February 2007):
 I think you need to write this one off to experience. I don't honestly believe that you can love someone you've never met but if you're sure its love and that it's mutual then he'll be able to forgive all your lies but it's a big ask. Be honest in future.
CD
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): you might love him but he has fallen in love with a fantasy
that involves all of his hopes and dreams for the ideal woman.
lay the truth out and hope, as the truth will have to come out at some point anyway why not make it now.
good luck and remember the best relationships are based on the truth.
another point worth saying is how much truth is this guy giving you.........
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (3 February 2007):
 this is the problem with lying early on in a relationship, its hard to backtrac, so consequently the only way forward is to continue lying, telling more lies, and digging yourself deeper and deeper into a hole.
The extent of the fibs you have told this guy, like being a millionaire, and you parents dying, even if you did come clean i couden't see him ever believing a word you say again. And the picture he has got of you is of another girl and not you,
I say let this guy go and get someone new, but next time start off by being you, and tell the truth.
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): oh my. what did this poor guy get himself into? i'm sorry if this is mean but i find it hard to sympathize with you cos all i can think about is this poor boy! he's in love with someone who doesnt exist. i'm sure you do love him, and you absolutely can fall in love with someone you havent met, because you fall in love with who they are not where they are. but the problem is he doesnt know who you are therefor he doesnt love you. this is not a relationship at all! i understand how you can start something out on the internet with false pictures and just be having fun but you have let this go far too far and he'll be hurt. there is absolutely no way around this and he would need to be a saint to want to be with someone who's done this. i'm sure you would leave a man who did all of that to you. lying about your parents death is quite frankly disturbing and he'll think that too. i think you should stay away from him, i know you love him and it'll break your heart but thats a risk you took when you started this and to be honest, its your own fault. hopefully you won't have messed the poor guy up too much for future relationships!
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