A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is the guy that posted a question a while back about his girlfriend stating that she wanted space and islolating herself from me and not knowing what to do, and I have to thank cd206 for all her help, but its official, we broke up, i found out from a friend that shes already back with her ex, who has said that he doesnt want her to talk to me, and she has done that. Now i feel so lonely and used, im beginning to wonder if there is any point in relationships at all, or in fact a point in life? I just need some advice on how to cope with lonliness, and how to get over the insecurity i feel about everybody now, My friends say ill get over it, but how am i supposed to trust anyone else after ive been screwed over so badly, any advice you could give will be much appreciated, thank you
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (16 January 2007):
 I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you mate. I know that loneliness is the most sucky feeling in the world but try to embrace it right now. It might sound strange but when a relationship ends you need to hurt about it. If you felt normal then you'd feel the pain further down the line. Feel sad but set a time limit. When I break up with someone i allow myself to wallow in it for ten days but after that no more being sad. After the ten days I make myself go out with the girls, restart my hobbies and stop eating chocolate and I feel much better for it but get the pain out of the way first. It's a necessary stage.
CD
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): We have all been through just exactly what you are going through now. We all handle it a lot differently from each other. I kept myself busy. I got in touch with friends i hadn't heard from in ages and got out there and did some visiting. I even stayed with a friend in Scotland i hadn't seen in ages. Try and take yourself away from the area, if possible for a short time. It all helps. The hurt will go away and you are young, so there will be plenty more lovely girls for you to go out with when you are ready.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (16 January 2007):
I think everyone has been through what you are going through now, or atleast they do experience sometime in there life, if not quite alot.
I understand totaly how you are feeling. I think most people in your situation would feel the same way.
I understand how this situation has broken your trust with her and with people in general. BUT you cant let this girls mistakes and actions decide for you how you will live your life and if you will trust poeple or not. Its not fair that other good people have to miss out on you and your trust because of what shes done. I know its a scary thing to trust people after being hurt so badly because you want to protect yourself from being hurt again, but if you dont trust people, if you "protect" yourself from it, in the long run you are depriving yourself of love...soemthing which everyone deserves. So you will not only blcok out the bad people but also the good people...the people who will love you. And you dont want that do you?
I think this is just a case of taking a chance and trusting people no matter what could happen. You cant always protect yourself unforunately.
I knwo its hard coming out of a relationship and trying to deal with life. You can feel lost and not see the point in it, as often people tend to depend on there partner in a relationship and spend alot of time with them. But you just have to sort of start over again. Look for new loves- not just people but other things as well. There is so much out there to love and to do. And you desevere the chance to be happy, so dont give up and not trust people...get out there when you are ready and give yourself the chance of having a good life. In time it will become easier ok so dont give up.
I hope it all works out for you :)
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Hiya, all I can say is that not every one is the same, you cant tar every one with the same brush!
As for loneleness what aboput a few hobbies? why not take up a new interest such as learning a new language, joining book group, joining a pool team or something you enjoy doing.
Not only will you be occuied with your new interests and so wont have time to be lonely, but you also might meet some one with the same interests and ideas as you have.
Good luck
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