| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I am seeing a very lovely girl, and the majority of the time we get on great. However, she can be very hot and cold with me, and I need some advice. She has, on many occasions, told me that she did not want to see me anymore (usually when she has had a few drinks). However, the next day she will be very appoligetic, and tell me that she was being stupid and hopes she hasn't ruined our relationship. She also recently met my family...She seemed fine, but then I caught her writing a text to her friend stating that she was 'in a real relationship...this is not what I want!'...I asked her about where she saw our relationship going, and I asked her if she felt I was rushing her etc, but she said I was being stupid...If this is the case, why did she say this to her friend??Whenever I tell her my feeling about her, she says that I am lying, and once even said (after a few drinks/telling me she didn't want to see me anymore) that she felt I was only seeing her so that I could have a girlfriend! This is 100% untrue.She tells me that she likes me very much, and wants to be with me, but sometimes I don't think this is true. Please help! I don't want to say anything to her, because I don't want to ruin things between us, as I like her so much.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): Hey guys, thanks for the comments. The friend is a girl...We are new to uni, so we haven't been seeing each other for very long...This friend is a girl she met at uni, so hasn't known her for that long either...I thought exactly the same thing about her not wanting commiment, but when I said that to her, she got upset, said I was wrong etc...
A
female
reader, [Natalie] +, writes (8 January 2007):
![[Natalie] agony aunt](/avatars/cfc87ec9-ee3b-4009-ba14-75a8d51ca85c.png) Hey, you seem like such a lovely guy!
First of all, has it ever occured that maybe she doesn't want commitment? That's what it sounds like.
It seems you're really sweet, and would maybe even want to marry her.
Perhaps its all a bit of fun to her.
Try talking to her. Tell her exactly how you feel, but dont upset her.
Tell her everything you've told us in the letter.
She may feel the same. Maybe not, but whatever happens, you HAVE to try.
Maybe you could talk to one of her friends.
I really hope you guys stay together HAPPILY.
Good luck
xxx
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A
male
reader, I Waited For The One  +, writes (8 January 2007):
 hey mate wow your girlfriend is lieing from the start that's a good start.
she's tellin her mates she not doesnt want a real r-ship is her mate male or female? how do u know she could be sleeping with someone else and saying 2 him it's not a r-ship with this guy. i think shes feel's rushed if there's no other guy's she doesn't wanna say your rushing this because she may be scared of u getting mad or even dumping her.
2 me this girl is useing u. how long u 2 been together? u like her so it sound's like you in the early stages of your r-ship no L word yet?
my advice 2 is. take this time with your new partner and have fun. don't rush things let it flow like the wind. if u still feel like this in 3 month's and u seem more txt's about " i don't want a real r-ship " u sould move on. i bet you there's loads of girl's out there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): Any help/advice would be much appriciated.
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