A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I are having problems. It just seems like all the things we don’t like about each other have just arisen into the spotlight in the last 2 weeks. We don’t argue like cats and dogs but are instead ridden with insecurities and distrust which crop up every now and again. We have ‘talks’ but probably we both feel we talk things to death. In terms of going out we are fine but spending time at home just the two of us is strangely awkward as we both tip toe around each other being too nice. It’s also a bit of a stereotype of I liking sports she likes movies and we cant always agree on the same things to watch on tv or what to do on our time off. I just feel sad that things have come to this as behind all this anxiousness caused by the insecurities we have a lot in common and share a lot same ideals. What should we do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 You guys just really need to learn to talk. It doesn't say how long you've been together, but my fella and I have been together 3 years and we're still working on communication. It has a lot to do with sometimes not getting your way, learning to compromise, gritting your teeth and keeping your mouth shut at the right times, and apologizing (even if you still feel like you're right). Both of you need to be actively listening to each other and working to SOLVE A PROBLEM, not just get annoyances off your chest.
Learning how to communicate is really hard for both people. It sounds silly, but if you read 'Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus' - it may really help you. It's a great book and very insightful into the minds of women and men.
Kelly had a great idea, I think spending a week or two away from each other might be just what you need. Clear your heads and come up with the real reasons why you're upset. Come with solutions in mind!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (5 February 2009):
 everyone has problems, if talking doesnt help and you cant resolve your differences then why dont you agree to spend sometime apart? if you are apart from each other then you will concentrate on the things you miss, rather than the things you dont like. keep me updated. x
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