A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok here is the story I have been fwb with this man for almost a year now. Well I'm losing weight and he is starting to really respond to this. He tells me how beautiful I am and how much he wants me and how he can't keep his hands off of me. He has been saying now how he wants to be with me and that soon I will be his girlfriend and that he wants to take me to meet his family, who live about 16hrs away if you drive. I really like this guy, but I am a little upset that I was good enough to sleep with when I was overweight but not good enough to date and now that I am losing weight I am good enough to date. I'm not going to lie I love the fact that he has motivated me to lose the weight in a constructive way but now the things he is saying about being ready to date me is not very constructive. He does tell me that he is proud of me for losing the weight he tells me that I am beautiful. He always has said to me that he love hanging out with me and doing things together, so that has never been the issue. No matter what I know that he will always be my friend whether I'm fat or thin. Is he selfish for this or does he just want what he wants? I would not want to be with a very overweight man either I would want them to be attractive to me too. I just don't know if I should back out of this "relationship" or see where it progresses.
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female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (12 March 2009):
 I think he sounds horribly shallow, and I wouldn't be very tempted to become his regular girlfriend. I mean, if he reveals this to you now, what other, more serious defects will he reveal to you if you get married?
A
male
reader, strawberries  +, writes (12 March 2009):
I agree with Gina, It's a very difficult subject. As a guy I would admit to prefering slimmer girls however I think fitness and healthiness are more important than size. Perhaps this is a little general but I would say it feeds from the idea that someone takes pride in their body and their appearance.
Sometimes losing weight improves your self confidence as well as your appearance. It almost universal that guys will find you more attractive if you are more confident in yourself.
Even considering this he is probably going about it the wrong way if he is now looking for more from the relationship. Bear in mind that most men would hardly object to a FWB scenario so if he is asking for more he definately likes you. This may as Gina says have more to do with time you have spent together than the fact that you have lost weight.
The real question is do you want more from the relationship? If you do want to start a real relationship with him then you should mention this now, and give him a chance to explain how he feels, and why now? Be prepared to hear the answer you don't want to hear, these things don't always end well.
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