A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessSmithee
writes:How do i stop putting my happiness into guys?Theres this guy and i know he likes me, we always text and speak online and we went cinema a while ago. , its not offical or anything. Its one of those things were you like each other but nothings really happening because .. hes keeping his options open? taking it slowly? . i dont know.but one minute hes all lovley and flirting like theres no tommorow, taking to me for hours. and the next hes just normal and doesnt seem like he likes me lots. I asked him were i stood the answer was o.k but i didnt really get a straight foward answe.But i just dont wanna put my happiness in him anymore like if he says something nice like last night mentioned going out again. Ive been trying not to think about it but deep down im so happy, then something will happen and i will realise there are so many more pretty girls then me. Hes always out partying and meeting new people, i dont want to get heartbroken the day he finds interest in someone else.Plus it sucks because i never see him around becuase we have no mutal friends or anything, but if he meet somone he liked through a friend they could see each othr all the time :(I cant find other guys to like because i never meet anyone new.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): There are two types of intimacy that creates happiness I've observed on others. There are the ones that complement you and there are the ones that complete you. Regardless of which one it is, a portion of that happiness will always be instigated by the person or people of your affection. If they do not reciprocate positive feelings towards you, you will feel unsatisfied and it may eventually lead to doubt, which then leads to the decay of trust and for some, develop controlling tendencies.
Meow, know that relationships of all kinds are all trial and error. There is a risk involved with whatever you partake. If you desire ongoing companionship, then you will have to try to draw in someone through attraction and through that attraction, build a method in which you may connect. If you only seek to be with someone regardless whether you are
To make oneself attractive, a series of things should be done to solidify your core, which may allow you to broaden the scope of your happiness. In other words, what makes you and how you connect with the world around you. You are still quite young and have the opportunity to keep redefining and refining yourself.
As we go through life, you may find that solidifying what you feel you are, through a broader scope of things, you will be able to realize how and what you can do to find happiness outside one specific ideal.
A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom  +, writes (12 March 2009):
 This is such a great question. It's one I've spent my whole life on answering!
Your life is much more than your feelings for this guy already. Just give other parts of your life the attention that they deserve. Work hard at school, focusing on the subjects you really like and excel at. Spend time with friends--make special dates to shop for music or make-up or whatever you and your friends enjoy. Or watch movies and listen to music together.
Spend time with your family. Ask your mom to take you on an outing (she may be pleasantly surprised) and make sure you ask her advice on something. See what she has to say!
Take up a hobby or after school activity if you don't already have one. Sports are great (not for me, though LOL). Learn a foreign language, a martial art, or a dance form. Hip-hop dancing looks like lots of fun. Learn to knit or crochet (your friends or your mom may come in handy there).
Start thinking about your future. Research universities or careers you think you might be interested in.
Love is important, so very important! It's so alluring that it's hard not to let it take over our whole lives. But there has to be a "there there," and by filling our lives up with important activities and relationships, we make sure that there's something inside us to fall back on when love kicks us in the butt!
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