A
female
age
30-35,
*oungandrestless
writes:so, i guess this isnt really so much a question as just wanting to rant a little lol. me and my fiance have been together for over 2 years and have been living together for a year and of half. now things havnt been easy with either of our parents, but im getting a little ticked off with his. i'll give you a little background so you can understand what im getting at. my fiance's parents are JW's, and my fiance grew up in that religion. at the age of 15, he decided he could not follow them any more, and was kicked out of his house. ever since then he has been on his own. Now, im definetly not his first girlfriend, but we are in love, and he has decided that im the girl he is going to marry, but his parents wont accept that, they still believe that they can push him back into their religion and he will find someone "better" for himself. I have met his parents once, 2 christmas's ago, we were invited to a dinner at his brothers house, and when we showed up, there were his parents. they were obviously surprised i was there, and besides the initial greeting, did not acknowledge me the whole night, would not speak or look at me. They have not since then, acknowledged that i am dating their son. when he proposed to me last september, we knew it was going to be difficult to tell our parents (my parents dont believe he's good enough for me, and dont agree with our choice to live together. they want me to marry a christian) but at least when we told my parents they made an effort to be happy for us. they may not agree with my lifestyle or the man i am choosing to marry, but hey have always made an effort to include him in our family functions. Anyways, when my fiance went to tell his parents of his decision, they decided it would be the opportune moment to inform him of their divorce!!!! now i understand that this is a very big decision and a hard time in their life, but by doing htis they are once again showing that they have no respect for me or their son! they still will not acknowledge the wedding or me!! in fact, they have recently invited their son to go to edmonton for a family day out, and guess who isnt invited???? im very upset at them for being so immature, and im also upset at my fiance for not pushing the subject!! its almost like he's ok with them ignoring me. i dont know if they will even be attending the wedding, because they are pretending its not happening!! he says he has tried to talk to them about meeting me and getting to know me but they will not consent. wehn are these people going to realize im not going anywhere? is it going to take marriage and grandchildren before they accept me??? if anyone has any advice as to how to deal with these people please let me know, im ready to march over there and say "Hi im your future daughter in law, i really do exist so you had better get used to it!!!"
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sammy.21 +, writes (2 July 2012):
Hey there! Sorry to hear what you are dealing with.. I as well am in a very similar situation.. my fiancé's parents are quite immature and have recently informed us that they are not coming to our wedding! I'm so furious. Stupid thing is they say they won't because I was raised as a JW but upon turning 18 I left the truth to go out and find my soulmate.I dont fully believe in absolutely having to marry in your faith especially if there just aren't many potentials around. But anyhow I found a nice guy and we started dating, I did have to leave my family for some time as there would be issues for my parents at the hall if I didn't, and it was hard. My dad was upset for a long time and the relationship between my family and I was really strained. We dated for about 6 months before he met my parents
A
female
reader, isolatednscared  +, writes (1 May 2011):
I agree with the first answer. As important and nice as it is to have the approval of the extended family, this is the begining of YOUR nuclear family. If they don't like it, and there are no dangers within the relationship such as abuse, then it isn't anyone's business other than you & your fiance. I'm glad your family is better with your decision, you'll need that support. Remember, Jahova's Witnesses consider themselves "Christians" because they follow the bible and try to live by God's Way. My entire maternal side is JW, but are the kindest people I know. The rest of us are Catholic, including my mom. Although we don't agree well on religion, we make sure to not let our preferences & beliefs interfere with our love as a family. Which is what it boils down to... they will eventually realize that in order to accept their son, they must not chastise his decisions in love or life as a whole. You can remind them that a true follower of the bible would never pass judgements on others. Quote the bible teachings back to them about family & love. They'll just love getting a taste of their own medicine! Lol... but really, move forward with your wedding plans and surround yourselves with positive people & support. Limit interactions with those who are negative. Once you become a family with your fiance, it will be them who have to prove their acceptance into YOUR family. Sounds like the real issue is that they cannot control their son. Just don't expect things to get better if you have children.( I have 2 babies with my hubby & his family refuse to accept us as a family.) ... I wish you luck!
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A
male
reader, Thisdizzle +, writes (21 February 2011):
If they don't want to be involved with your life, don't involve them. But make sure you and your fiancé put up a united front. Make it clear your a package deal. They can't get one without the other. Obviously, your beloved needs to be on board with this. Other than that, don't sweat them.
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