A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have mental health difficulties and I've been with my partner a year. Things are good, on and off.I am inclinded to feeling very angry at points. Depressed. I don't eat or sleep etc. I know this affects his life.The thing he is he's to keen to tell me what to do or give me advice on how to 'get better' and help me, or tell me, who I am. I think that recovery is something you do in your own mental head space. I don't want his advice. I want to find my own answers.He has his own issues. He has a terrible childhood and a few weeks before he met me he tried to kill himself yet he has the cheek to tell me he coped before he met me!He has told me that when I get treatment for my mental health it will make him feel better and that he won't have to deal with his issues. He makes me feel guilty if I don't cook for him and the other day I wanted to sleep on the sofa for some personal space, he got upset, cried, admited that he was insecure and then wouldn't leave me for the whole day.He has admitted he's pushing me away yet can spend hours if not weeks scapegoating my mental illness. I want him to stop scapegoating it and confront his own issues. I don't see why I should be made to feel bad all of the time for being ill. He can be quite cruel. He told me to 'leave my house' even though he knows I have no-where else to go (no friends/family) and when I pointed that out to him he said it wasn't his problem.How can I make him see that he is just as accountable for any problems and to stop making me feel bad? I've tried talking and he doesn't listen.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): Don't go out with a person with emotional problems when you've got your own. I've done that it never works out. I've had my ups and downs and he's had his. Things may seem to click because you think that he understands your problems, but in reality, he doesn't. Every problem is different and just because your problems are in the same category of "emotional problem" doesn't mean you two will be compatible.
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