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male
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anonymous
writes: Is it illegal for a 17 year old male to have sex with a 15 year old female in Ireland? I read that it is at least I think so. A girl I know did this and lost her virginity this way and he basically just used her and treated her awfully. Can she do something about it legally, and how can it be proved against him, is it worth her trying to do something? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): I think ppl know where sex relaated crimes should be at, I've got a 15 yr old brother who had sex with a 14 yr old girl and he is doing a year in a detion center, laws of the land are bs, now a days, my grandfather, and mother where 12 years apart, and I'm 18 and if I have sex with a 16 year old is illegal bs, that f**ed up, 16 year olds have more sex than me, yeah if i wanted to screw a 14 yr old that may be wrong but a year or two younger that me or you shoul'd not be wrong!!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006): im not sure what she'd have to do, but it will help by putting him away, she didn't have a sexual history at that time
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006): i just find this quite strange, i always thought people were against this kind of thing, i was always lead to believe child abuse was something which should be punished and i believe so, personally. her friends are and so are the german police who are taking it seriously
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female
reader, Seratuki  +, writes (10 November 2006):
 Alright.
Seems to me you just came here looking for someone to back this up..someone who agree's with you..
what is going through court proceedings going to do to help? She'll be put on display, she'll end up having to defend herself and prove what happened beyond a resonable doubt. If this goes that far she'll end up with her entire past and sexual history on display...is she really prepared to do that?
Don't expect to have him and his lawyers take this lightly, that is a very serious accusation.
If it's affecting her that much then she needs to see a professional.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): uh we spoke on the internet for all this time and she didn't tell me about it, we only met this summer, i feel sick about it and she decided she would try to do something, she almost did try before, but now she sees it affecting her life now. doesn't matter too much about time that's past with these things by the way i think at least in that country with these circumstances
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female
reader, Seratuki +, writes (10 November 2006):
She's 18 now?
Ok, why is she pressing this now? It's been awhile since this happened to her. I'm not sure what the statute of limitations is, but it seems weird that she would go after him after so long, could it be that she's angry or hurt about something else entirely and is just lashing out?
With the time thats past I will bet that she'll have a hard time proving it anyway..truthfully, it would probably be better for her if she got some professional help with her feelings and moves on with her life, lesson learned.
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reader, tux +, writes (10 November 2006):
 The facts are always there and won't change.. 17 vs 15.. could be deemed illegal though it does depend on the way the law is written because sometimes they do offer leeway for that small of an age gap. The law isn't exactly written as a device for revenge and that is the only basis you are looking for it as. The law is written to deter predators from going after minors which you may deem him as a predator because he mistreated your friend but in the end, she just made a bad choice. and we shouldn't be under-estimating 15 year olds... people older make the same mistake.. a girl meets a guy... they see each other for a few dates.. they have sex... he treats her badly and leaves.. what can be said? guys can be jerks. now if she wants to go after him with the law, well then i'm pretty sure she can.. but i don't see how that is really going help other than get back at him.
Now if he coerced her... forced her then i can see more on your side.. but if she went along with him only after 1 week well hmm.. she needs to sit down and learn the lesson this teaches for her. it's kinda hard to truly judge because i'm sure a lot of details are left out.. but well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): well she's 18 now, and this guy is in ireland, she's in germany so it wouldn't affect her life
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reader, Seratuki +, writes (10 November 2006):
This is exactly why cops don't take women seriously when they accuse men of this...but if thats what she's going to do, fine..I can tell you tho, getting revenge on this guy might make her feel better at first, but that feeling won't last, and word wil get around about what she did, making most biys her age afraid to date her becuse she might do this to them...
She's better think long and hard about the LONG TERm effects this could have on her and her reputation..
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): the facts don't change that it was illegal and he used her, therefore he could be prosecuted
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): I'm listening but i disagree, the guy deserves all he's going to get, and all her friends agreed
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female
reader, Seratuki +, writes (10 November 2006):
The facts don't change...
I'm not going to go around and around about this when you're not even listening to what it being said.
Who's more angry? you or her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): relationship? she knew him one week, he treated her badly used her for sex, she can now get the law onto him about it. why should some idiot get away with getting something so great cheaply. no way, its not so much about his age, its her, she can't make a clear decision at 14, 15. she can clearly do this, im getting quite angry that people think all girls of this age can make the right choice about sex, that's why these laws are here.
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reader, David Lewis  +, writes (10 November 2006):
 I agree with Martini.
If a 15 year old girl had sex with her 18 year old boyfriend the day before her 16th birthday. How would that be looked at? What about a 16 year old girl having a dirty one nighter in a back alley with an 18 year old who didnt care about her? What would be more wrong? The first girl is the one in the loving relationship, yet he can be prosecuted. The age of consent laws are a load of bollocks at present. Surely circumstances should be taken into consideration too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): I really hate how ppl base sex and love and relationships on what the law makers think our base sex age. It's understandable that it's there as a general guide to help 'protect' sexual predators in trying to get at our young-uns, but for a 17 yr old to a 15 yr old? And how does the maturity of a 15 year old differ from that of a 17 year old? Or how does the maturity of an 18 year old differ from a 17 year old? Does one or two years of their teenage lives make THAT much of a difference? I can see someone who is 35 possibly more mature and refined than someone that is 15, but what about those people who never grow up to be mature at all? There are TONS of people like that. Eg: my 18 year old cousin is MUCH more mature than a lot of my 30 to 50 year old colleagues.
Following the generic laws of minimum age of consent (quite contradicting actually) is like a fad or a trend that people follow religiously. If only law makers were to take more time and effort in creating a law that doesn't just simply prosecute people for their age minimums and send them to prison, and more so in a program or a civil service to help their psyche and emotional refinement.
ANYWAY, to answer the guy's question - I agree with Seratuki. The relationship went sour. She allowed sex to happen. He didn't force it. He treated her like crap. She's sad, depressed, angry. You're angry. You want to help her. Just be there for her, and help things move along.
As far as the legal age min, well, that's up to her possibly if she wants to pursue it or not. Don't hold it against her if she just wants things to pass.
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reader, Seratuki +, writes (10 November 2006):
Alright,
Not a single person is saying underage sex is ok...all we're saying is that the age gap probably isn't big enough for them to really persue it unless she was forced.
Secondly, she concented to it at the time, so just because the relationship went sour doesn't make it wrong. She wanted to have sex with him from what I understand, and is now angry and hurt because it didn't work out.
I can understand that, I've been burned and wanted nothing more than to string the guy up by his toenails and beat him like a piniata....that doesn't make it ok.
She really needs to take this as a lesson learned and not get physical until she's more secure...
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): again, defending underage sex, unbelievable. This guy treated her like crap just used her for sex. You were 16, thats legal, she was 15, only a week before was 14. This guy was 17, a crime was commited she's got every right to press charges against someone who treats you bad. I can't believe people saying underage sex is ok.
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reader, Lemonpixie +, writes (9 November 2006):
 Look i lost my virginity to someone who was 21 and i was 16... he broke my heart 3 weeks after we had sex...but i didn't run to the police. He broke up with me after i travelled 2 hours to be with him and stranded me at a faire. I had to call my mom sobbing and humiliated because he did it in front of people but i didn't press charges... He ended up wanting me back and still calls me hoping im single (which will never happen even if i was) but I did not stoop so low as to do a rotten thing like that. People can be assholes and im sorry she was hurt but it's not right to throw someone in jail and give them a record when she wanted sex in the first place. I don't think that a guy having sex with a young girl like 12 and he's 30 is ok at all... however 17-15 is not a big deal. Shes the type of person that will give real rape victims problems when people dont believe them
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): but this is illegal therefore she can press charges as far as I understand, i'm a bit surprised people defend underage sex against a girl who had only just turned 15
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reader, Seratuki +, writes (9 November 2006):
Ok, Laws like the age of concent are not meant for lovers who've been mistreated! Unless she didn't concent anf was raped, or the age gap was bigger, she can't do anything..and really, she shouldn't. Sex isn't a weapon, just bacause he hurt her after they had sex doesn't give her the right to press charges on him. If it were, then every jilted person would be in court!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): well the way he treated her after, thats why she's going to do it and the police take these things seriously
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reader, Lemonpixie +, writes (9 November 2006):
Well here is the deal it may be illegal but if she consented and let herself get put into that situation should he really get in trouble? I don't think the age gap is significant enough to raise too many alarms 2 years is psychology terms is the 'perfect' age gap for high school relationships... Like babsbabe said it might just be a hard lesson for this girl... unless he took her unwillingly I don't really thing its right to press charges. And proving it could be even more difficult. Unfortunately i would say let it go, and let the judicial system deal with real criminals.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): im not talking about me, the 17 year old is a bad guy who used her for sex
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): original poster here, oh its ok i met her when she was 17
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reader, confused landi +, writes (9 November 2006):
um well if u dont think its wrong it is not !! age does not count then but if u were 23 and she was 15 then that would be wrong if she is ready for sex and so are u then i dont think its a big thing
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006):
Google 'age of consent'. There is a web site that tracks this stuff.
But the question is *should* you have sex with her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): ok, i've seen many cases where its somehow proved, seems a bit surprising that it can be, but police take these things seriously don't they
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reader, babsbabe +, writes (9 November 2006):
As far as i'm aware it is illegal to have sex with anyone under the age of 16, it could be reported to the police but i don't know how you would go about proving it, maybe it's a hard lesson learnt take care
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