A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and this guy both like each other and have been speaking for about 6-7 months. Last night we went out with our friends to a few clubs and he turned up quite drunk, we shared a kiss and that was that, until my friend came outside to see where I was to tell me he had just kissed a mutual friend of ours. It kinda pissed me off cause he knows I like him but I don't know what to do now. He said sorry and he doesn't know how it happened, he said he genuinely likes me and understands if he has messed things up between us but he wants to try and sort it out. I have my friends telling me to move on from him cause he's an idiot but I don't know if I want to, and I know it's probably the wrong choice but I really like him.What should I do?? Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2013): As you may well know people do very out of character things when they're drunk- things that they're shocked they did and wouldn't dream of doing when sober! I completely agree with DorothyD though- observe him if, he gets this drunk on a regular basis, he may well have drinking problems- and is not relationship material until he settles down a bit.I've had drinking problems, and understand that binge drinking is a form of alcoholism- it starts off as partying but you steadily become more and more dependent on it. Observe things like if he always seems more drunk than others or often well on the way very early into the night- it's something that some people have a lot of difficulty in controlling. My advice- observe it may be a one off thing but in the meantime look elsewhere. I would suggest just fooling around with him for some fun, but feelings a,ways strengthen if you're already into him. Have fun being single and don't dwell on it ;) xx
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (1 July 2013):
Hi there. He knows you like him, although at the moment you are not officially a couple, are you?
You said you have only been speaking to each other for about 6-7 months, up until now.
And so, I am just assuming, that you mean he is a part of your social circle of friends.
But that's about all.
Even though he said he didn't know how it happened - that he kissed another mutual friend of yours - on the same night he had already kissed you, it seems very likely it was mainly because he was quite drunk, as you said, when he turned up at the club you were at.
And because he was already drunk, he didn't have very clear thinking about what he was doing, and so he let his guard down and unthinkingly, just kissed that other girl in your group of friends.
Unfortunately, when people are drunk, they don't always consider the consequences of their actions, and only regret it after the event.
And then it's too late, because you can't undo what has just happened.
It would have been much better if he had've been sober, when he arrived, and kissing that other girl probably wouldn't have happened at all.
I'm not sticking up for him at all, but just explaining why it happened in the first place.
And just because he kissed you on that night, doesn't mean that now you are boyfriend and girlfriend.
What needs to happen now, is that you see how he is the next time, and see if he continues to do this sort of thing again and again - whenever he is drunk.
It might be a pattern he follows, and he might always kiss lots of girls whenever he is out and had a lot to drink.
Even though you do like him, you first have to see how much he does drink whenever he is out socializing.
He might be a very heavy drinker, and you might not have paid much attention to this before now.
So perhaps in future, just quietly observe how often he goes back to the bar to buy himself another drink.
And just see how early in the evening, he starts to act drunk.
If it is within an hour or two, he is most likely a heavy drinker.
But if it is only at the end of the night that he acts this way, well then he has just drunk too much on that night.
You may really like him a lot, but if you did start going out with him as his girlfriend, you would find that if he always gets drunk, that you will get fed up with it, rather soon.
He might have a drinking problem, and then he might not.
And if he only gets really drunk occasionally, well then it may not be so much of a problem.
But even so, just supposing you became a couple, and then each time you go out together and you both drink, but he gets pretty drunk pretty soon, well then he might inevitably start kissing any girl he sees on the way back from going to the toilet.
And just forgetting that he is with you.
And the problem with heavy drinking, or even moderate drinking, is that you can start to forget what is right and what is wrong.
And just NOT think first, before you act.
And then you would lose trust in him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2013): Your friends are right , he's a idiot and you should forget about him .. I'm just saying this cause if has the ability to kiss others while being drunk then think of what else he is capable of doing when he does have a few drinks and goes out .. It could just be the alcohol but still gives him no excuse to kiss others if he's your date it just disrespectful and wrong .. Hope you listen to your friends on this they sound like they care about you and don't want you getting hurt in the future with him
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