A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, so I have a problem that I myself don't have a solution to. I recently went to live with my friend who's older then me. She's nearly 50 and I'm 21. She was really close friends with my mum when I was little and we recently reconnected when I started working with her. Long story short me and my mother cannot live together. We have a good relationship now but before it was horrible. We have a bad history together and we just can't live together. We'd end up killing each other type of thing. So my friend offered me a place to stay with her whilst I found my own place. I stayed with her for 6 months. She also has five kids and the two youngest are 16 year old twin boys. They live between their mums, their dads and their older sisters. Weekends they used to come and stop over at their mums house but they then started staying over Tuesday nights and thursday nights for catch up lessons after school and they couldn't get back to their dads who lived further away. Basically one lets call him T he liked me from the off, he got drunk one night and said he wanted to marry me, loads of things and his mum even told me T liked me like that but obviously he's only 16 so I just tried to ignore it. The other one 'M' had a girlfriend when I moved in and I really liked her to begin with. Then he lost his virginity to her, she then broke up with him because he got scared and didn't want to sleep with her again, and I also found some other things out about her. She tried to get back with him and they tried to make it work but he then broke up with her for good a couple of weeks later. Not long after that I started noticing some things with him. His brother T went to stay with his dad more after he had a little spat with his mum. So me and M got closer but not to the point where it was anything but friendship for me. I also started to reconnect with a boy I'd known for years when I was little and he's my age. It was going really well and I had a huge crush on him but M interfered with it and messaged him on fb then my friend stopped talking to me and M said he needed to grow up then said he obviously isn't loyal to me?? Other things I noticed with M is when his mum had gone to a family party for the night he went and was meant to be sleeping over with his mum, I couldn't go because of work the next morning, but he came back to the house so it was just me and him. I was in his mums bed, with her permission, so I could watch a dvd upstairs and basically he came into the room from his room got into the bed with me and I thought fine he just wants to watch the film with me but then it ended and he said I'm tired I'm going to sleep now stood up looked at me quite weirdly and then got under the covers to sleep with me and it just felt very awkward and odd. Another time I came in and I'd had a drink and I sat with him to watch tv and he ended up feeling my breasts, I mean really groping them, so I just went to my room and the next day I tried my best to avoid him. He also became really aggressive, in his speaking, and jealous when I was talking about a footballer when we were watching football together and I only mentioned this players tattoos. He then proceeded to tell me he's going to get really drunk and shag his ex and that he was serious about it which I then found out later his ex isn't like that at all so I just think why would he say that? My best friend says she thinks he likes me but I keep saying he doesn't like me in that way and she says I'm in denial about it. Every time I go round there now I notice more little things like that though but I really love this family like they were my own and I don't know what to do now. How do I stop it from being awkward?? I still really like M and T as friends and little brothers even so I don't want to lose them but how do I make it work when it's like this????
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male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (20 August 2017):
Can you move out of there? I don't know the laws in Great Britain but the laws and penalties here in the USA are very, very harsh when it comes to sexual contact with a 16-year-old. I understand that you are not having sex with him or encouraging the situation, but you don't know what might happen that would give it that appearance. Definitely don't let him feel your breasts or let any such thing happen. Boys who are 16 like to brag to their buddies, and you don't know where this could go. Definitely avoid these kids unless their mom is within sight.
A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (19 August 2017):
 you have to draw the line and keep drawing the line, he interfered with your relationship once and brought the end to that,
the only one that can nip this in the bud is you if you don't he will get worse.
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (18 August 2017):
My only advice for you is to not let anyone touch you unless you allow it.
Also, just be aware that if you accept to have a (sexual) relationship with one of those kids, perhaps her mom may get upset and kick you out, so to avoid any problems, just avoid them. Be yourself, but learn to set healthy limits.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 August 2017):
 YOU need to set some boundaries and not tip toe around.
The first item of business?
YOU are THE grown up, ACT like one! That means:
Learn to say no. NO ONE should be groping your boobs or ANY part of your body without your expressed consent. And no, no no no he should not crawl under the covers with you AT all. Not watching a movie or braiding your hair, OK? NO. SET those boundaries! Be firm.
Second item?
REMOVE and BLOCK these teenagers from your Facebook and other social media, these KIDS don't need to be on your page and contacting people you know telling them goodness knows what!
Third item?
Talk to his mom as well. Let her know that he has been inappropriate and you are trying your best from now on to NOT encourage it and deal with it but you WANT her to know.
Fourth item?
TELL him straight out, I know you care about me and I care about you but ONLY as the kid (do use the word kid) if my friend (his mother) - I'm NOT romantically interested in you, you are too young for me and too immature for what I AM looking for.
The only one who can NIP this in the bud? IS YOU!
SO DO IT!
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