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female
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*at14
writes:I know theres not alot anyone can do. But i used to have a big group of mates we used to all be close and do stuff together. Now i get left out n i dont seem to be as close with them, they organise stuff and im never invited. I still hang around with them at school but thats it now. I get really lonely especially in the holidays i dont seem to have any mates. Without my bf i'd have no1. My mum doesnt help and often comments on me having no mates.Its really starting to get me down and i often find myself crying about it. As i dont have many mates i dont get out much and dont really have the oppitunity to meet new people much. When i do i tend to be a bit shy. What can i do, is there something wrong with me???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): hey! i feel the same way to :/ my best friend has just left school and like my other friend has been planning to go out with her over the half term, and well they never told me but this didnt bother me. i found all this on facebook and like they were rubbing it in. And so when i asked them about it they just started being all snotty with me :( i think its because i've moved on and made a new friend but then when we go and hang round by them they just butt us out and turn their backs on us and now i feel like they have been using me, im fed up of this so im starting to move on, i think you should do the same, you never know your new friends maybe more trust worthy GOOD LUCK!
A
female
reader, Pheonix1 +, writes (11 February 2011):
Jealousy. If you ever find people don't like you for no particular reason, nine times out of ten it will be due to jealousy. They probably don't even know why they don't like you, people don't realise when they're jealous.You have a boyfriend, they'l even be jealous of that - especially if they don't! Their eyes will be green with envy!There's not a lot you can do, confronting them makes them say you're nasty and being yourself annoys them... You could always get new friends, but I know that's easier said than done. If you're going to university soon then stick them out until you can move and get new friends. The people at uni are more likely to be like you and have similar interests.Hope this helped and good luck.PS, I'm in a similar situation myself
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female
reader, LittleMisslovesyou +, writes (14 May 2010):
The same thing happens to me. theres this group of friends wich always lets me out in everything. and this one girl who i have known the longest is worst than the others she uses me, talks behind my back and she hates me i dont know why. she makes me feel so small. But i had my best friend to help me but she always used to get left out two. But now she's with them totally ignoring me. Even though she knows how it feels she still does it and it and it feels 5 times worst because i have to face it alone. i cant take it anymore. i cry about it often. i asked them abouy it the other day. They just twisted the whole thing and said i was being nasty to them. wich i have not. i hardly talk to them, they ignore me i just follow them around "/ i don't know what to do, but im going to stay away from them, and just smile at them. Incase they do any more damage to me.It's their loss, they don't care about me anyway, they make my chest tight and my eyes flow with tears, how shallow can they get? And the worst thing is, they do not know how to plan stuff behind my back ar be two faced. Everytime the talk behind my back they give dirty looks, and whisper. And when they plan stuff they smirk, thinking i dont know. But i do, do they think im that stupid? it makes me so angry. I have not done anything they just hate me for no reason, but i have the right to hate them. who do they think they are? treating me like this? I just posted this to let you know that you're not the only one. And i hope things get better for you :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): people are jealous of you. you have a high opinion of yourself and thats what counts! if you were ugly and boring then would you have a boyfriend? i think not. you just need to believe in yourself otherwise people will sense you have no confidence and won't want to be around you.and about this 'mate' of yours that seems to get pleasure from telling you are ugly. she has no self confidence really and is using you to big herself up. this is NOT how a mate should behave. if she was your mate she would try and big you up. talk to her and ask her why she's doing this. tell her it's hurting you and unless she stops your going to ditch her as a mate. chances are she'll come crawling back to you to make up long before she does. you cant complain about this problem without doing something about it, be strong and don't use shyness as an excuse not to confront her. she needs to be told. telling her to stop it can give her a chance to prove herself, so then she has a choice. if she chooses to ignore what you say then you need to keep your word and distance yourself from her. it may be hard but do you need a mate like this? there are other people out there who you can just as easily become friends with other people - and she NEEDS to know this. think about what you are going to say to her. and ask her this - how long would she put up with it if you treated her like she treats you?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): Wow! I'm almost exactly the same! My mum has loads of friends too, so when she asks why I haven't got many mates it's so embarrassing! But, I do have a circle of close friends and I hold onto them. That's what you should be trying to do to. Are you wallowing about in self-pity trying to make people sympathize with you, because that has the opposite affect usually. People can sense that you want sympathy and it annoys them. Stick with your mates if you're too shy to go about on your own, but make sure on the odd occasion you walk around on your own with your head held high and a smile on your face. This will make you seem like a positive, friendly and approachable person. Hopefully, it will mean that instead of you having to go up to people to make new friends, they will come up to you and you can make friends!If this doesn't work, then you could always pop into the canteen on your own once in a while to see if anybody is sitting alone in there, or maybe two people sat together. Grab some lunch and pop over to them and ask if you could sit there because you 'don't want to be on your bill'! This should make you seem friendly and confident (even if you're not) so it always works! Get chatting and make them laugh! You should be mates in no time!I understand you're shy, but would you rather be on your own, or get out there and DO something about it? It's your choice.
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male
reader, Abacadaba +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Nothing is wrong with you for a start. If you feel they are leaving you out, ask them what they are up too, or organise something yourself and invite them. People can sometimes do it without totaly realising, or without realising it will affect the person in a bad way. If they continue to leave you out, then i suggest finding a new set of friends, its hard but friends come and go, some stay forever, most of the time they dont. Just try and get yourself involved with them, if they still leave you out, get some new friends. You never know once they see you hanging out with other people they might wonder why your not with them and get in touch. Good luck, and dont let it get you down.
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female
reader, 0x_beautifulGurl_0x  +, writes (27 August 2007):
well what you need to do is when your at school hanging around with all of them ask them about you like ask them if their mad at you about something tell them how you feel and if they end up not talking to you just go meet new people, you dont need them they arent real friends if they end up not speaking to you again just try not to be shy and meet someone new try to stand out more thats how you get new friends...But if they do talk to you and yall start hanging out more thats good just tell them how u feel ask them why they arent ever hanging out with anymore..and its always good to meet new ppl 2..and just go from there....Goodluck
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