A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If you're an American, white woman who is 29 (or older) but love latin culture... what are the chances that you'll find someone who will be not only latino, but be faithful, true and love you too much to ever break your heart? For years, I wondered what was wrong with me. As a teenager, I was not interested in boys in the least. All I cared about were horses, guitars, Spain, Mexico, and church (the Catholic church interested me). I sometimes wondered if I was a lesbian or asexual, I looked at the boys at my (mostly white) school and it didn't do anything for me (no offense to anyone). Then I went to university in mexico and began to notice guys for the first time. It was such a relief that I was straight (there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian, but unfortunately they don't always get treated right in society, and it can be hard to be gay). I started to like boys, and started to dream of having a Mexican husband or boyfriend. I've been disappointed so many times, and had my heart broken so many times, and I'm really losing heart and wondering if I'm delusional.I'm an American and Floridian, but I've never been attracted to "my own kind" like most people say "you're supposed to do." I've always loved latinos. I KNOW that there are good people in every race, but I've never been attracted to American boys. I have loads of latin friends (mostly guys), and I know that a FEW of them are interested in white/American women, but they seem to be the exception.I'm so afraid to talk to my friends about this because I'm afraid I'll offend them, but what are the chances I'll find a latino who is faithful? I've been told so many times that nearly all Mexican guys are cheaters, and I DON'T think it's true, but I STILL feel discouraged. I feel discouraged because cheating is common all over the place and sometimes I wonder if men (race whatever) are by nature unfaithful. My friends say I shouldn't close the door on other countries, and they're right, but I just don't feel attraction for non-latinos. I've been VERY sad lately because my birthday is coming up, and I'm starting to feel old and undesirable. When I lived in Mexico, it seems that the faithful, respectable men who wanted a nice wife, and a nice mother for their children, always picked out a girl from their own culture. I've read that all Mexican men, in their heart of hearts, desire a Mexican woman and that none of them will ever truly be fulfilled by a foreign woman... by a woman like me. I believe my friends when they say that some Mexican guys are attracted to us... but I feel discouraged when people tell me that this goes against nature.I'm not sure why I'm different, or why I broke the rules of nature. I've just never felt a sense of belonging and acceptance in white, anglo-saxon, North American culture. I lived in Mexico for a long time, and I speak fluent Spanish. I dated a white American guy but I got really bent out of shape because he wouldn't learn Spanish, I became angry and dumped him. This sounds demanding, and I suppose few people will understand, but I wanted and needed so badly for someone to talk to me in Spanish. I've always felt like a caged bird in USA and I'm so happy that I'm going to Spain. I try to think of the things I DO have and be grateful for them (I had to bend over backwards to get this trip). Still, I long for a mate. I know I need to pull myself together. But it just makes me so sad sometimes. By the way, if you've read all this, thank you.I didn't mean for my question to be windy but I have a hard time being concise. I know this is gonna sound strange, but I'm much more articulate in Spanish than English, and English is my first language... weird, I know.Thanks!
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male
reader, hot_latinman  +, writes (31 July 2010):
hello
ive seen this topic many times,, and i dont know why you reffer to mexican( latinos) like guyz with no heart and guyz that will never be in love with a white girl.. im from chile 100% latin huy and i love american girlz they are so cute..
we are very passionate , welove to kiss a woman and to treat them as they deserve =).
but we love u girlz, dont think about that,,
we love all girls, you only have to be passionate...
kisses from chile
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 March 2009):
 There are good people in all cultures. there are also certain traits that are more prevelant in all cultures. Cheating in the latin culture, in my experience is more prevalent. I am married to a hispanic woman and I've lived in her country. I have never seen more cheating in my life. I believe it has something to do with the machismo the men are brought up with. I know I'm not imagining this either. I can count on one hand the number of men I know from that culture who are not more inclined to have less reservations about cheating.
What I found strange about living there was that many women were controled by their husbands insecurities. The women seemed to have a built in respect factor that I was not accustomed to. They often made choices based on what their husbands thought. For instance, when my wife would invite a friend to go to the movies, the woman would have to ask her husband first. The irony is that almost all the men cheated. It seemed to be that most people didn't question if a man would cheat but when he would cheat. I never met anyone who was "shocked" when a guy cheated. Since the shock factor was non existant, it seemed easier for the women to forgive.
The opposite of course, was not acceptable. The men were very intolerant of the women socializing with men. It all seemed strange to me but very common.
You can be attracted to whoever you choose. There are those who will be fatihful but adultery in the latin community, in my opinion, seems to occur more often.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): Hey, I kinda catch your drift. I myself have never been attracted to an American boy (sounds strange but the way you are with Mexico it's culture and its men is the same way I am with eastern Indian guys, but I have a little of that blood in me). I have no idea why but I don't think it matters. If you like a certain type of guy then thats your preference. But I hae to say that that going against nature thing is weird. I mean why in the world is it so weird to like another human being regardless of race or nationality. It's not going against nature its flowing with it. Its not that great of an example because they don't really have a society but do people think its wierd for a retriever and a dalmation to get together? Their just different breeds of the same species. In a nut shell don't be so hard on yourself, you like who you like. I don't know i I helped at all or if i just wasted your time, but have fun in Spain.
XOXOXO
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (29 March 2009):
 Well, theres nothing wrong at all in being attracted to a certain kind of person. But I am wondering what exactly is causing this attraction to be so narrow and specific. But, thats really ok also. You know what you like. As for the "latinos all cheat" thing, I wouldnt take that to heart. I have a very close friend back up north who is latino and married an Irish gal. They have 3 kids and are great and I know he adores her. So, I think it's just a question of finding the right person. Just like everyone else in the world. Also, I think you will LOVE Spain. If you can, take a train to Potugal. Those beaches are off the chain!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): not really sure what you are asking...
Go to Spain and enjoy.
this post might help...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-starting-to-think-i-sound-really-delusional.html
Star.x.
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