A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, i'll try keep this as short as possible. Me and my boyfriend broke up about 5 days ago. We were together happily for eight months solid but 15months on and off. Two months ago, he called up to my house and seen that my ex-boyfriend was here collecting stuff. i know that it looked bad or that i was cheating (although i wasnt) I do realise it hurt him as I never told him my ex was calling. He then over-reacted by punching my car and calling me names because he was so angry. Anyway, after this happened we got back together for a few weeks. We decided to end things as a couple just before Christams but continued seeing each other. We saw each other every day over the Christmas period so we were as good as a couple and he said we'd defnitely be back together. Then things changed again last week when he said he wanted to finish things again because the timing is all wrong. He said that he doesnt care anymore if we talk everyday or not and that he can't give me 100% and he doesnt know what he wants. He said he wants to be freinds with me anyway but we never know what the future holds. I have talked to all my friends about it and they say I have to ignore his texts or calls to make him realise what he has lost. I feel like I have just been used over Christmas and new year and made to believe black was white!Its very hard to ignore him. i have limited my replies to him but cant totally ignore it. i am afraid that if i take my friends advice and dont reply that he will just forget about me and give up on me. however, i am hoping that all my friends are right saying that he will come back after i have given him time and space. i am his first proper girlfriend so i am hopin that will stand to me too.i just dont know whether to move on or keep the faith.any comments or opinions would be greatly appreciated.
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broke up, christmas, got back together, move on, my ex, period, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 there is no set rule for certain things and i think this 'to ring or not to ring' is one of them. it depends so much on the individual, as in: some people will respond well to absence, others won't. i don't know about you but if a bloke dropped contact with me i would think he didn't give a monkey's. all i am saying is: if you feel like speaking to him, do so. you say in your post that you are afraid if you ignore him he will lose interest, i agree with you, put yourself in his shoes, what would you do if someone kept ignoring calls etc, would you carry on trying or give up and walk? i think, sounds like, the problems started when he saw your ex at your house, you know how bad that could've looked. talk to him. if it doesn't work you have lost nothing,except maybe a bit of pride but that'll soon heal trust me. if you let him walk out of your life by being non-active you might forever wonder what might have been. i would love to know how you get on, keep me posted?
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your help! i was also reading online about relationship experts advice and they also believe the no contact rule works. we havent spoken in two days now but i just feel like he has taking me for granted and almost been too sure of me.
do you believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder and you dont realise what you have until its gone?
or am i wastiing my time keeping the faith and hope
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (11 January 2011):
do what feels right to you. not what your friends tell you to do. when he turned up at your house and saw your ex there, his trust in you was badly damaged, maybe he will learn to trust you or maybe he won't but i am sure that breaking all contact with him will not serve any purpose in either splitting up or trying again. the silent treatment is just childish, and not even what you want to do. your mates are wrong i think
xx
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