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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,What is it nowadays that makes young adults rush into things, what happened to those days where people had good clean fun, and were proud of being single.I'm 22, male, single, not looking for a relationship YET, but most of my friends make me feel horribly guilty for not having a partner, that infact when we go out together I leave more depressed than anything because they always target me making me feel as though I'm wasting my time.I was never one to have many girlfriends, but I am attractive, and smart, and ladies do like me, but I'm not looking for it, I haven't slept with anyone, as my morals are very high! I believe that when you sleep with someone, it was meant to be, and that is your soul mate, I don't want to go around like rabbits, just to have a "sexual history", so like you see I'm still a virgin, proud of it, and i've been termed as "too good, too angelic" because I haven't done "The Deed", they pick on me to a point where I no longer want to socialize with them for always bringing up the same old topic, "when you're gonna have a gf, when you gonna get sum" come on!"I want to take things slowly, then get told "I'm not getting any younger?? hey??What should I do? Do I just keep silent as it bites, and hurts me, or is it time I find new friends that aren't interested in one thing?Please help.
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (8 March 2006):
No one should feel they are being purposly picked on, intimidated of just plain out being rude to. Lets face it, these people you hang out with, and i refer to them as hang out because friends, true friends woulnd't do this, are bullies. They are bullies and thats so sad that people at your age still do it.
It must be very hard for you to deal with them putting you down all the time. You have 3 options-
(listed in no particular order)
1. stay being friends with them and put up wiht it. this would be very hard for you and it seems to me you don't want to do it this way, otherwise you woudln't be here asking what to do.
2. talk to them about it. tell them that it really hurts your feelings and you don't find it funny. tell them ot get over it, its your life and your choice. hopefully then they will understand.
3. stop seeing them. that way you save bullying.
In my opoinion, I think you should first take option 2 and talk to them about it. see what they think. is there a chance they don't realise its realy getting to you? Talk to the mand see what they say. See if they stop doing it. If they do then maybe you can stay with these people and keep hanging out with them. If they don't atleast then you know they aren't good friends and dump them, not having any regrets.
If you don't feel as though you can talk to them then that in itself is a huge indicator that thhey aren't good people if you can't talk openly.
Remember no one should ever feel they don't have a right to be who they are.
And for the record, I totally understand your whole waiting for the right person. And in fact, I know quite alot of people your age, guys who are the same. My cousion, few friends from school and a few other older guy mates from work. So you not alone, although it may seem to you that you are, but your not!!!
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (8 March 2006):
No one should feel they are being purposly picked on, intimidated of just plain out being rude to. Lets face it, these people you hang out with, and i refer to them as hang out because friends, true friends woulnd't do this, are bullies. They are bullies and thats so sad that people at your age still do it.
It must be very hard for you to deal with them putting you down all the time. You have 3 options-
(listed in no particular order)
1. stay being friends with them and put up wiht it. this would be very hard for you and it seems to me you don't want to do it this way, otherwise you woudln't be here asking what to do.
2. talk to them about it. tell them that it really hurts your feelings and you don't find it funny. tell them ot get over it, its your life and your choice. hopefully then they will understand.
3. stop seeing them. that way you save bullying.
In my opoinion, I think you should first take option 2 and talk to them about it. see what they think. is there a chance they don't realise its realy getting to you? Talk to the mand see what they say. See if they stop doing it. If they do then maybe you can stay with these people and keep hanging out with them. If they don't atleast then you know they aren't good friends and dump them, not having any regrets.
If you don't feel as though you can talk to them then that in itself is a huge indicator that thhey aren't good people if you can't talk openly.
Remember no one should ever feel they don't have a right to be who they are.
And for the record, I totally understand your whole waiting for the right person. And in fact, I know quite alot of people your age, guys who are the same. My cousion, few friends from school and a few other older guy mates from work. So you not alone, although it may seem to you that you are, but your not!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): hiya i think you may need to step back and think of the good and bad points about your friends. If there is more bad then good points then yeah i suggest yo find new friends. But if there are more good points then you need to let then know how your feeling and tell them that if this constant bullying and p** taking doesn't stop then you no longer want to know them. BTW - good on you for being an individual and sticking to your beliefs!!!
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A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (7 March 2006):
 dear reader. for one i'm very proud that there are still men out there with good strong morals so well done you. Well i think your right i really think you need to find a new group of friends ones that aren't going to make you feel bad about being good. you don't need to rush into these things as you know you hear to many horror stories of how young people end up in trouble because they had sex because of peer pressure.I hope you find your soul mate you seem a very nice loyal man good on ya take care and get some REAL friends xxxx good luck
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