A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi would like some advise please.My friend's husband seems to like me. He told me the other day that he thinks i am beautiful, he doesn't make me feel uneasy normally and i have had the impression before that he likes me but i thought no more of it. He also touched my knee but i moved it away. He touched my knee before when i was at a fair with him and his daughter, we were on dodgems at the time and thought nothing of it (our girls are best friends) and his wife is one of my best friends.What puzzles me is he is 61 and i'm 38 and happily married, why on earth would he think of us getting it together??? he is also friends with my husband.He doesn't give me the creeps and i have never noticed him looking me up and down in a sleazy way, its just weird.When he told me he thinks i am beautiful i just laughed it off and said that is what my husband says to me, which he does but inside i felt embarrassed and was glad when my friend came into the room. I acted normally and that was that, i am thinking i am better off avoiding him for the time being.
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male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 tell him in a nice friendly way that your getting signals from him and that your'e not interested.
keep it light and friendly and dont make a big deal about ti.
if that fails then really give him the message and tell your husband. that should do the trick.
he may well be one of those really nice guys that think nothing of touching, and dosnt realise how it has affected you. there really isnt much wrong with telling a woman shes beautiful, i do it all the time. if its not sleezy, then i think its ok.
i take flowers to my fishing buddys wife when i go to their place, and she loves it. its just not a sexual thing.
i hope it all works out well for you both.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): I am the poster of this question:
Many thanks for your replies, i think its true some men don't have mirrors or common sense. But he must be mad to behave like this to his own wife's friend! I would be heartbroken if my husband did this to someone else let alone a friend of mine.
I feel so sorry for my friend as now i'm thinking he must have done all sorts behind her back, i know when we have discussed cheating in the past she said she would never forgive him although funnily enough he'd said to her he WOULD forgive HER if she cheated on him, now i know why!
It just makes me sick that i can't be friendly to someone without them having to get stupid, recently a guy i was friendly with on fb (i went to school with) and haven't seen for 22 years was telling someone that i was going to leave my husband for him!! bloody freak. What is it with these people?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): My advice, when you do things with him, make sure your husband is there. Show particular attention, pda, toward your husband when he is around. Talk about your husband a lot purposely in his presence. If he does anything physical again, touching, be direct with him.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (28 October 2010):
 There is every chance that this man is hoping for an affair with you. His age doesn't matter (in his eyes anyway) and he thinks a 38 year old beauty is a prize. I think you should be careful about the friendship. If he is willing to betray trust, cheat and say inappropriate things to you then what else is he able to do? I think you would be wise to avoid him for a while. If he does say or act in a way that makes you feel awkward in the future then tell him outright that you don't want his advances. By not addressing him and laughing off his actions it maybe fueling false hope in his fantasy world.
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