A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend whose Grandfather may be dying. Her Grandmother is in denial, and her Mother, who lives 10 blocks from him, won't even stop in to see him. He says he hasn't been to a doctor in twenty years and doesn't need to go now.My friend lives 3 hours away and she made an appointment for her Grandpa to go to the hospital. He had lost a lot of weight and finally went in for tests.They will know more on Tuesday.My friend is being thrust into adulthood here. She has a low-paying, non-career job which she cannot take much time away from. If she has to, she will quit to take care of her Grandpa but that will put her in debt. She has told me he is her favorite person. Until he went to the hospital, she couldn't even eat.It looks like she will have to be taking care of things. Has anyone had to deal with this? What should my friend be made aware of? What steps should she take?Should she take steps to secure power of attorney in case her Grandpa becomes unable to make decisions? How does someone do that?Are there any programs she can look into that might assist her? She's trying to make ends meet as it is.Thank you!!!
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 I can only comment on what goes on in my country, but in Australia anyway, you pick the Power of Attorney forms up from any Post Office. Have them signed by the grandpa and the person taking power, witnessed by a Justice of the Peace, and then you lodge them at a Magistrates Court (lowest level of court). You then recieve back a court order sort of thing which you will need to show anyone you are dealing with on the incapacitated persons behalf.
You can also pick up Will kits here at the same place, (if he does not have one) and even easier, ..fill it in, sign it witnessed by a couple of people who are not friends, relatives, or beneficiaries, and then just hang on to it incase you ever need to lodge it at court if an estate requires probabte. Better to suggest she check these things out now incase the worst happens.
Don't go quitting the job straight away coz for one there is no dianosis or likely prognosis as yet, .. but in any case she may be eligible for something equivalent to the compassionate leave that we can get in Australia legally allowing time off without losing your job.
Here we also have 'carer's pension', ..so you can get paid money by the government for looking after an ill person providing the condition is expected to continue for at least 6 months.
If the grandpa becomes hospitalized, your friend should be able to be advised by the hospital social worker of avenues open to her, ..and I know in the case of my dad who died 11 months ago, that we were also able to have some organizations affiliated with a church (don't recall what religion but it did not matter that he was not in it) advise and help organize different services and handle some of the paperwork.
I know it does not help too much given different countries, but I hope it at least gies some idea's of equivalent things your friend may be able to check out.
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