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female
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*renes
writes: I have a problem with a friend in my classroom. I am an 18 year-old girl and I have a close friend. He is very poppular in my classroom but I never feel about him more than a friend. He has girlfriend that very lovely, cool and talent but she is very jealous of him. She doesn't like me so she wants him to break off friendship with me. Although I have my boyfriend absolutely, she always make us to be in confusion. She try to make me feel ashamed in any way. That makes me hate her very much.Now, my friend is to be worried about it. We are best friends that he don't want to break relations with me while he loves his girlfriend very much. What should I do about this?
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (5 September 2005):
You must be really fed up with this girl, the ball is in your friends court though. Its really up to him what he decides to do. You can be there for him as a friend and this girl can't stop you but if he comes to you and says he wants to end your friendship you can only respect his wishes. Tell him how you feel about it but if it happens you will have to back away. It might work out better for you as then she won't be interfering in your personal life. If she is that bad and your friend has any sense the relationship won't last long anyway.
A
female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (4 September 2005):
It sounds as though your friend's girlfriend is insecure about his friendships with other girls. In extreme circumstances, a jealous lover can resent the time their partner spends not only with platonic friends, but also with family, leaving their partner isolated from their loved ones. Hopefully this relationship will not come to that.
Could you speak to her alone on a one to one basis? That may put her mind at rest and extend the hand of friendship to them as a couple, hence including her in your joint activities. She may resent the time you spend together and feel excluded.
If you are unable to change her mind, speak to your friend and assure him that you will always be there for him as a friend. Please prepare youself for the possiblity that he may not see you as a friend whilst he is dating her. Yes, it is disrespectful and immature to dump friends whilst dating, but unfortunately it does happen. A jealous partner can persuade their loved one to sever ties with friends and family. If this happens to your friend, please don't be too hard on him when he does resume contact. He will only be doing this to comply with her wishes.
However, if she is spreading stories about you and your boyfriend, perhaps you ought to avoid associating with your friend and her, but explain to your friend why so he doesn't think you are deliberately snubbing him. As much as you can, try to keep some form of contact with your friend, as partners come and go, whereas friendships can last a lifetime. And your friend would be awfully unlucky to lose a friend like you.
Good luck
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