A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello there, views appreciated. I have several girlfriends who are single, some recently divorced. They ask me to go out with them at weekends on my own, but those times are very precious with my son and partner. I invite them to join us for dinner and they do, we go to pub quizzes all together etc, but find it a bit uncomfy when they just expect me to be free on Friday or Sat night. My relationship with my man is three years old and we have just come through a lot of painful times relating to his divorce. I think I will feel more free as time goes by but at the moment I am not really interested in being away from home at weekends much. I do invest a lot in my friends but I wish they would let us all be together including my partner instead of attending too many occasions designed to mostly moan about men. I am happy to do that sometimes, but can’t find words to explain to them how I feel as I don’t want them to feel let down. So far will do lunches anytime, mid week drinks once every couple of weeks and evening weekends almost anytime so long as we are mostly all together. Sound reasonable?
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female
reader, didda123 +, writes (9 February 2009):
 Yes i can see where you are coming from it is not unreasonable what you are suggesting but you need to let your friends know maybe say you will go out with them altogether once or twice a month for now because you need to spend time with your family and it is not as though it is just you and a friend going out there seems to be a group so they shouldn't suffer without you there.
You are doing the right thing by keeping in touch with your friends in all other ways but don't totally cut out going out with them on nights out as in the future you may feel more like doing this and if they all get into new relationships the nights out may dry up anyway and it does you go to get out on your own sometimes.
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