A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:ew. two of my close friends gave a blow job when they were thirteen, but all the guys gave them more attention, so instead of regretting it they have done it again, and they have turned really sexual at 14, i am also 14 but have not done any of that, we keep forgiving them, but its really scary cos if they get pregnant it will mess their lives up, we tried talking to them bout it, but they just get annoyed and now they keep telling us we should do it aswell. i won't, but i think some of my other friends don't see it as a big deal. please can you give me any advice, i will welcome anything, thank you very much. x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Peer pressure at your age can seem enorous and generally is. but for your sake think about your own values rather than those being thrust upon you. Just because "little Jenny" is out trying to satisfy all the boys in the town and chancing getting an STD doesn't miss x has to join her in the hospital.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): Your friends are just terribly immature and don't have the ability to use good judgement, it's difficult when you are that young with no life experience to always make the right decision, when they know better they will do better.
Perhaps you have a closer relationship with your parents then they do and more respect for yourself because of it.
You are on the right track, don't let them pressure you or cave in to their ridicule of your values, if that is what they are doing, end the friendship. Really, our friends can be a reflection of ourselves, if they are engaging in slutty, risky sexual behavior that you know is wrong and detrimenal to them, then distance yourself from them, but remain respectful and civil to them...and choose friends that are more in line with your quality of person, at your age you will outgrow certain people it's just part of life.
I can tell you that they will live to regret what they are doing, it may take a few years for that to happen, but when they grow up they will realize their mistake and be pretty sad about it.
It's refreshing to hear a young person on here with a good moral compass and a good head on her shoulders that doesn't forget who she is and give in to peer pressure.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): hi guys, me again, thank you for all the advice so quickly aswell. i will, have them as friends still just not sooo close, but will not be pressured, hopefully. one day they will regret it, and then it will be their fault, i wont feel guilty cos i tried to tell them, i hope this will work, thanks again :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Ninja4  +, writes (10 July 2010):
It's not really your choice if they want to be sexual or not. If they're doing it just to do it with guys they don't even care about then they're being whores. If they feel strongly for the guy then who are you to say "don't do that" if it's the choice they want to make?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): Good, don't get influenced and if they get pregnant, they'll regret it. Just live your own life.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): Heya
You dont have to forgive your friends. It is their body and they can do with it what they will.
My best friend was sexually active about that age too and at 17 I'm only just coming into it in my long time relationship.
You can hold off the pressure. The way I dealt with it was by thinking along these lines:
She is her own person with her own free will. If I put her down for her actions she will not value me as a friend. DO I value her? If so, then I don't put her down. I can make comments about what I think and what my opinion on the world is, and I can point out if she is just putting out for attention (which is unhealthy) and try to help her through it, but ultimately if she is my friend and I value the friendship I will hold my tongue and not judge her for it.
I made other friends who weren't sexually active so when I needed support for my decision to wait a bit longer I had people who wouldn't be encouraging me otherwise.
The other thing is if you value each other as friends, neither of you will pressure the other to do something you don't want to do. Are you a true friend to her? Is she a true friend to you?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): It's not your responsibility to "forgive" your friends for being sexual. It's a very good thing that your concerned for your friends but you cannot in any way stop them from doing something they WANT to do. Its just not possible. If you feel they are bad influences on you then end the friendship if you care for and love your friends you'll step aside and let them make their own choices to be able to learn from their own mistakes. You be your own person and let them be theirs. But at no cost let them convince you to do something that you don't feel comfortable doing. If you feel you're not ready to have sex, and your friends know that but continue to pressure you into it then they are not your real friends...end of story.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): Your friends are very stupid and naive. It's nice to know someone your age isn't easily influenced by her friends - I know it isn't easy when being pressured at your age, especially on the subject of sex.Girls were the same at that age when I was at school. A girl I went to school with already slept with ten boys by the time she was thirteen!I on the other hand never took notice of what they would say and waited until I was 100% ready.Them girls may not regret it now, but they will as they get older.Maybe you should explain how they have no respect for themselves. Which ever, stay how you are and wait for someone who actually cares about you to fool around with.
...............................
A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (10 July 2010):
 its good to hear that you have a good head on your shoulders. I think that you're making a smart choice by not being sexual. All these boys like these girls because of what they're doing, not because of who they are.
Perhaps you should stick to your guns and keep your integrity by standing up to these friends by letting them know that piece of information. It could help them avoid a lot of heartache in the future.
Good luck, it will probably be hard though, especially if they want you to do it too.
Just remember to stay true to who you are. Don't do anything because it will make you 'cool'. Good luck with your friends and I hope you are able to get through to them.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): You won't be able to stop those girls from doing the same things over again, because the attention they seek makes them feel justified. They'll have to learn by subtle gestures and hints, such as.. don't get or be too close to them, and if one ever questions you on it, tell her that you don't want to be labelled the same, by being around her. Let them feel small when they try to get too close to you, but don't be confrontational or rude about it. For instance, when they tell you to do the same, tell them you have more productive things to do or catch up on, and that you're saving your body for when you're old enough to know real life and all its dangers. Tell them you can't afford the mistakes that can come with it, such as pregnancy at that age, with no income to support the baby. They will have people around them, but for the wrong reasons, and they'll never be truely respected, because those people around them will never forget those days, and how they were. Keep your good morals, but try not to judge them poorly at the same time. Soon, they'll be offering you drugs and pressuring you to do those, too, and you'll have to use the good intelligence and morals you're using now, to say no and not care how uncool they think you are. You're alot cooler when there's less mistakes and trouble following you everywhere you go, in the future. Always remember that, and you'll always come out happy for it. Don't jump when someone tells you to jump. You have your own beautiful mind to control, so just sit back and watch their braggery, and in the future, you'll start to see their self destruction, too, and how noone likes them or respects them for who they really are.
...............................
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (10 July 2010):
 First of all I would like to congratulate you for your decision to hold off on sex, even when under pressure. You don't have to do things just because everyone is doing it. It takes courage to stand up for your beliefs.
Regarding your friends you might want to show them pictures and stories of people with STD this is not a pretty sight, and this might help. Have them talk to teenage mother. They will tell them that its not a thrill to be a teenage mother.
...............................
A
male
reader, Iroh  +, writes (9 July 2010):
You can't get pregnant by blowjob. The sperm has to get inside the vagina. And first of all somebody virgin can't get pregnant.
...............................
|
