A
male
age
36-40,
*blade
writes:i met this chick through a friend back in late oct. we were fairly smashed and things were pretty good with us.. flirty and laughing.. we've been msging each other for about a week.. then we organised to meet up for our first date which was average, nothing special.. just dinner and drinks.. but i was so NERVOUS!!! Conversation didnt flow sometimes.. Since then it has been a down hill for me.. untill we went out for our first date she has been msging me non stop anticipation was soo so high. but after our first date it died down..A few weeeks ago she was really drunk she was out with her friends and so was i.. i told her to meet me up afterwards which she came.. she was fairly smashed.. so i took her home that night(by this time we met about 4 times) but as we were walking back she kept on saying 'im so drunk' and she was touchy and leaning towards me.. i thought about the sign that she wanted to spend the night with me but obviously i didn't do anything about it. so she went home and i called her the next day the conversation was fine actually.. nothing was awkward so i felt happy..here is the downer.. now she wont meet up with me shes making excuses saying shes sick, we'll meet up next time etc.. i know she might be playing with me, i dont know what she wants.. should i be upfront and talk to her seriously? we've known each other for 2 months and its dragging so long.. does she like me? or should i slow it down.. im so confused.. let us know whats my situation look like.. all my friends say she's a bitch, just leave her.. but now i feel like im on a mission to just sleep with her.. ahhh god just help me
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male
reader, kblade +, writes (24 December 2011):
kblade is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmate u deserve a pat on the back for your very wise comment.. you know what you actually feltyou are totally right about this one.. i am currently living in korea where people here are very conservative.. i knew she wasnt interested in me but i didnt want to admit it i guess.. male ego right there isnt it.. once again thanx heaps for your advice man!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): I don't know what's so confusing OP she's not interested in you. The first date went badly and she's completely cooled off after it.
Look so far you've been a gentleman. Someone who can hold their head high say "I tried" and just let this one go. If you go out of your way just to sleep with her to punish her or prove a point then that would make you a sleazy dickhead because she's not actually done anything wrong. If you're actually a nice guy then you won't feel good after doing that either, if you're an asshole that doesn't care and is going to sleep with her for those reasons, then stop reading now because you don't deserve my advice. Your actions that night when she was drunk tell me you're not that type of guy though, so do your conscience a favour and stay being a gentleman, plus women talk you don't want a rep for being that guy or only the most conceited of women will ever go near you.
The only thing she has done wrong is not tell you straight up she's not interested. But you know what? 22-25 you should know this kind of thing by now and you should also know that a lot of girls don't have the heart or the courage to tell a guy they're not interested because they (illogically) think they don't want to hurt him and they also think he'll figure it out for himself if they stop showing interest. Take this as a lesson learned and understand she didn't waste your time, she though you a lesson.
You tried it didn't work out, you can't force a connection and the fact you had a lot of awkward silences means there aren't any. I don't care how nervous you were, when you meet someone you have a connection with and a lot of shared interests then nervousness becomes overridden by good conversation and fun.
OP be a man and walk away with your head held high. Don't be bitter or angry, she's not done anything wrong and while you may not see them the signs are very obvious she's not interested. Your friends are wrong, she's not a bitch and if you're going to get angry and frustrated every time a girl doesn't have the balls to say to your face she's not interested then be prepared for a lot of bitterness in your life because most women you meet do things in hints and actions, and just expect us to read the signs.
Stop putting in the effort, let her go and if she really is interested let her come to you. Now while I think she's not she could also be one of these girls that thinks you've come on too strong and therefore playing it more cool will spark her attention again or she could be a game player playing hard to get, either way it's time to cool down and stop contacting her. All the signs are she's not interested and if she is a game player she's not worth your time. So your friends are right about leaving her and a punishment shag is not the guy you should be either. It will make you a weasel and one that will not do well with girls in the future because no girl thinks highly of a guy that is so bitter and inept as to take out his frustrations on them. Respect yourself and other will respect you. Walk away, feel proud of the attempt and know that you did nothing wrong here and you can take the lessons with you onto your next conquest.
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