A
female
age
30-35,
*annah Doyle
writes:I've been dating this guy Jake for a few months he is 25 and a singer in a band. He also works with a local contracting company. Most of my family and friends say that are relationship wont work because of his "free" behaviour and that he goes out to sing in his band. He is a great bf and if they pay local I go to see him, if he is away he calls / text me through the night. Yes, he loves to have some drinks and sorry afterwards but I don't see it as an issue. I've had family say that he will eventually cheat even though he has never given them the reason to say that. Should I be worried just because he is in a band.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2014): My dad has been in bands and has sung solo. He told me he has always been faithful to his girlfriends and wives.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (26 July 2014):
 No, absolutely not. Just because you are in a band, does not mean that you have no morals or sense of right and wrong. While I was in college, I played in a band, and I also carried on a three year, fully committed and faithful relationship. Nope, never once thought of cheating. Could I have? Sure. Anyone could. You don't have to be in a band to cheat. You just have to be a cheater to cheat. That's the common denominator.
If he's never given you a reason not to trust him, then I say give him the full benefit of the doubt. To do otherwise would just be plain unfair.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014):
I think they're probably right unfortunately, men who live that lifestyle are usually players, but not all are. Only time can tell.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 July 2014):
 I disagree with your friends and family that he'll automatically cheat on you because he's a musician. That's like saying he'll automatically be dishonest because he's a used car salesman, a scammer if he's a mechanic, or a money-grubbing ambulance chaser if he's a lawyer or a smooth-talking player who will knock up the farmer's daughter if he's a traveling salesman or a leering lecher who wolf-whistles and calls lewdly at women if he's in construction. These are stereotypes rooted in a nugget of truth by a few who misrepresented their profession. There are many others who are honorable and true who are not only living proof that stereotypes aren't law, but get upset that these stereotypes exist.
He will not cheat on you because he's in a band. He will cheat if he's a man of low morals, which you can find anywhere. It's true that there are groupies, and the lifestyle of a band member is a bit faster than the lifestyle of a CPA. But there are CPA's who cheat on their spouses and rock stars who are 100% faithful to their wives for the 32 years they have been married and live a life of doing good in the world and giving to the less fortunate.
By what you've described, your boyfriend is treating you honorably. In my opinion, do not judge him and leave him based on the stereotypes of his profession. I was also a travelling musician for a short time in my life and saw married men cheating on their wives, and I also saw faithful family men as well smile at the groupies and sign autographed CD's, yet go home to the women they loved and the children who adored them more than any groupie.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014): Night-life and travel will invite a lot of temptation. Guys who chose to be traveling musicians will eventually attract groupies. It comes with the territory. If you don't get groupies, you are not likely to become a successful band; or it's pretty clear that your band sucks.
There are women who follow men in your boyfriend's chosen profession; because they have a certain type of appeal as performing artists. They present a bad-boy image, or portray the brooding-artist that no-one understands. They have to have attitude, or no one takes them seriously. To create a following; they have to create a stage-persona. That is necessary in order to attract an audience and create a fan-base.
If they are a bland umpa-umpa band, that's not likely to happen. If they play weddings and clubs, he will often be exposed to club types. Sorry, but all those that I have ever known in bands are on the road a lot,and they do get exposed to a lot of drunk and horny females. Or males,
depending on sexual-orientation.
Your family is preparing you for the worst case scenario. He hasn't gained much popularity yet. If he ever does, he may change, due to the demands people and his band make on him as a performer. His exposure to so many different people, and his band trying to gain recognition and gigs; will make him have to extend himself. He will have to reach-out to the public. Male-bands tend to attract a lot of women. Guys don't usually react as emotionally towards
the players in a band, as women do.
If you can handle that, no problem. He's small-time now. So you really don't have much to worry about. If his band takes off, you may have to deal with his ego and all the attention he will receive. Particularly female-attention.
He will be away a lot, and you will often have to carry-on a long-distance relationship. Women tend to throw themselves at musicians. That's club-life.
That is what your family is trying to tell you.
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