A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok guys this is long but any opinions would be gratefully recieved.ive known a guy 3 years and ive always had strong feelings for him but we've always stayed friends-he always come up with some reason like he thinks of me like a sister or something as to why we cant date but he lies a lot. a few months ago he asked me to help him with his resume so i did and he said can you send it from my email and gave me his password? i didnt see a problem until i discovered a load of emails which basically shows hes spent the last 3 years lying to me about everything about him. i was so angry but said nothing. he walks around like everythings ok and im fuming because of what i saw and cant tell him. hes also always on these chat sex sites and i get jealous and i think he knows this but now that i know hes been lying im very hurt as ive always helped him with money, work life and it proves hes just looked at me like a fool. i also know hes in loads of debt but when he goes on about his finances he makes out like he has property but ive seen the proof in the emails. i feel really down and also he seems to give more attention to virtual strangers on these sex sites than me a loyal friend-or so he says. when we first became friends he had finished with his ex wife -she allegedly cheated but he always commented that she was a bitch and said he was a liar. im doubting this now. anyway im always looking needy and desperate around him. how can i pull myself up please help
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 September 2011):
 What a crap friend. There's no need to try to stay "friends" with this guy when:
1. You have more than platonic feelings for him-It's only going to hurt your further because you've sort of settled for friends but still get jealous over him chatting with other women. You're walking a fine line.
2. You've helped him financially- Does he owe you money and has he paid you back?
3. He's a pathological liar- Sorting thru what's true and false about this man is just exhausting. Plus, friends don't lie to friends.
It's time to cut ties with this guy. I know you can't have in your life as your significant other, and who would want to after finding out all that? But you're better off letting him completely go, than settling for a "friendship". Sometimes a friendship is not always better than anything at all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): You should have walked away as soon as you found his emails.This is no friend of yours, its all built on lies, if it were a woman friend you wouldn't put up with this treatment.He's just one huge red flag.However the fact he goes on sex sites and chats is his business as you aren't a couple in a relationship. He's not responsible for your feelings towards him, but he has taken massive advantage of them and you.Only you can walk away and draw a line...
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A
female
reader, lerato29  +, writes (3 September 2011):
 you just need to distance yourself from this person,he is s liar and what else,you wouldnt want to spend your life with him
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