A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf are both 19 and we have been going out for 1 month and 1 week. One of my friends met him last night and she thinks hes a bit of a player. She thinks this because he has asked me if I wanted to sleep with him so early on...I said no. I am wondering what your views are??I admit that him asking me so early on makes me a bit suss but if you look at everything else in our relationship it seems so great. I mean I dont really feel hes with me just for the physical side of things because I told him that I have only slept with one guy before and he really hurt me so I want to take my time this time and have to be 100% sure. We spend alot of time just hanging out and talking on the phone etc, not just making out etc...infact I think we spend more time just talking etc rather then making out and stuff. So I do feel like he is with me for me, but then there is a tiny part of me that has some doubt because of what my frined said.Hes still with me after I told him no and that I want to wait and still as keen as he was on the first date. My friend seems to think that he might think he could manipulate me into having sex earlier and not waiting and thats why hes sticking around. What do you guys think?
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female
reader, Mary D  +, writes (25 August 2009):
I think you are off to a great beginning and its nice you slowed things down sexually to get to know each other.I would stop telling your friend your business,seems like shes putting poison on your relationship,of course he wants sex,thats only healthy and normal,when the time is right youll know when to have sex-take your time,if hes still hanging out and getting to know youright now without sex, he is interested in you-enjoy,he sounds like a sweetie.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 If a guy were to ask you that question ,
you would wonder what is his motives?
If you are a positive person , you would think
he wants to know what kind of gal I am.
Since you answered no, then you will know sooner or later what kind of guy he is.
If he is after sex , he would give up the chase after sometime.
If it is not about sex, then he would value and appreciate your more.
If you have a negative mind, you would think that he wants sex at this early stage.
He is only asking here and we do not know what is his real motive behind this question?
We cannot be very sure and can only speculate.
Is he laying down his cards for you to see?
Or he could take it up as a challenge to bed you.
Time will tell what kind of man he is.
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (10 March 2008):
 I think its normal for guys to want sex earlier in a relationship then girls. Don't take that against him. He's not forcing himself on you right? If all he is doing is asking what is the harm? You have to see it from a guys point of view. Our urge for sex is stronger than it is for girls. Girls dont't understand this too often and think we are beasts...which is crazy. Yes we have these urges, but we also control them...that's what you have to see, not that he's asking, which is natural, but that he has the discipline and respect not to force the issue. He has played the game by your rules, and that's good. But a man can hold lout only so long, and you have to help him define when you are ready for him to go that next step. In the meantime honor him for respecting you, but also understand where the is coming from.
Your girlfiend is a little judgemental in my opinion. Unless he has hit on HER, I don't see what he is doing as so wrong. His opinion is he wants sex sooner...your opinion is you want to wait longer. He IS respecting your way. So where is the harm? Good luck, I hope things work out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I have to say I would be a little cautious.
Just be sure he is not sticking round as now you have said no you are a challenge for him.
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