A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My friend Mary suffers from cancer I always try to be supportive and helpful and even change plans to cheer her up and be with her. Now I notice she takes me for granted and that when she's got entertanining things to do with other friends she's rather be with them as she expects to count on me whenever she is bored. Moreover, I have been standing a quite bad mannered boy because of her wanting to meet us both at the same time and I feel tempted to tell her to forget about me as I know she notices, though her state makes me think it could be selfish. I have decided to move on and only date her every 15 days or more.Am I wrong? thanks
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female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (9 November 2006):
I know you feel good,kind and useful to a sick friend BUT you have become a doormat. Time to get assertive and start doing what makes you feel good. Make other plans and only see her when you feel you want to. Her illness is not your cross to bear. She has family and other friends as a support group so be part of that but start focusing on living your own life. The more you bow and scrape to her wishes, the less respect she will have for you and dont let the emotional blackmail get to you. She will learn to respect you and appreciate your friendship better if you say No once no while.
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