A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im a Boy and i have been with my girlfriend for a year now, we also now have a baby on the way too. we are moving in together soon and starting up a proper life together. i love her, i always have since i laid eyes on her, but i have had gay sex with a few guys during our relationship (obviously she doesn't know) i havent done it in a few months but i use to. i dont know why because i love her to bits and we always have sex. but i just like the thrill of what i was doing. do you think i should tell her? she does laugh and say sometimes i think your gay, i just laugh back. it would break her heart if she found out but i feel like i should come clean...my friend who knows about this said im out of order and careless, and he said if i dont confess then he will do it for me as he is close to my girlfriend too. does this mean im really gay? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): I think you should just confess tell her eveything.You may not get a grat reaction but if your planning on having aa life together i think its time to tell.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 May 2010):
 I don't think you are gay but bisexual. If you are having affairs with men it is because your girlfriend is unable to satisfy that side of your sexuality. You have a baby on the way and I think it is time to tell your girlfriend everything that has gone on. Don't expect a great reaction - she maybe emotional with the pregnancy and impending parenthood at a young age. However if you have had unprotected male sex then she and the baby maybe at risk of infections so her midwife should order some tests. Furthermore, your flings with men still make you a cheat - it is no different to sleeping with other women. You need to seek counselling to deal with the infidelity issues because you will be a Dad soon and a role-model to your child.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Is this about you debating your sexuality or that you're a cheater?
Your "friend" is not a friend if he resorts to threatening you with matters that are none of his business to tell anyone. This smells alot like blackmail, my friend. What's this guy's motive? I'd tell Mr. Friend to mind his own bizz. and you'll handle your own issues in your own way and time. If he rats you out, then you know it was comin' down the pike, anyway. But cheating IS cheating and concealing or continuing the behavior is living in deceit. Is this your idea of a good, solid foundation upon which to build a proper relationship? Answer that to yourself, (honestly!!) and your compass will show you the way. And cease making Mr. Friend a confidante'! It's none of his business, anyway!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): You are not gay you are bi-sexual.
I hope that you are using condoms when having sex with other men.
I think that you should be fair to your gf and tell her that you are bi rather than have her find out any other way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): The key issue for your to consider is that you are about to become a parent. Your child will look to you for everything including consistency and a good relationship with his/her mother. If a good relationship is based on trust then in theory you should tell her, however if it might cause your relationship to end (and it might) then you need to think about how forgiving she is. Also does she need this kind of stress when she's about to have a baby?
Infidelity is a devastating thing to experience and can make people really bitter and hurt, so don't do it again or your life will be full of sadness and regret.
I guess you need to consider why you want to tell her, is it because you are being emotionally blackmailed (you might want to reconsider who your friends are) or is it because you want to start with a clean slate? You are very young to be having a child, it's hard work, but you can do it. However you need to grow up and stop being irresponsible and selfish, you will like yourself better in the long run. As for should you tell her? This will be your first big maturing decision and only you can make it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): you might not be gay but you could be bi
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