A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am really confused about something that happened the other day. I am in love with my best friend which he didn't know about till the other day. The reason I hadn't told him was because he means the world to me and I couldn't bear to lose him as a friend. I love him to the moon and back, not only as a friend and if I lost him I don't know what I would do. He got a girlfriend the other week and I was insanely jealous. We argue all the time but nothing like this. Our class were having a debate in our law lesson about something, and he made a point which I disagreed with, so I stated why I disagreed with him. This seemed to hack him off a little bit because he turned to me and whispered that I was supposed to be on his side. I told him that I was allowed other opinions and pretty soon we were having a full blown argument in class. The teacher tried calming us down but neither of us were listening. I think he rang for the college councillor but I'm not sure. Everything he shouted at me I retaliated with something just as snappy but he started spitting out mean comments like 'you don't care about me like you used to. You're so distant now. You're supposed to be my best friend but you act like you don't even know me.' This really upset me. I'm not one to cry, but this brought tears to my eyes. I quietened down and he kept telling me how I'm a no good friend. I was crying by this point. I said something like,'how dare you say that, don't ever think that I don't care about you,' which he replied with, 'but it's true isn't it?' I think I just snapped then because I stormed out the classroom and stood in the corner of the hall crying. He followed me out because I heard him say 'if you care about me, why are you so distant? You weren't even happy when I got a girlfriend!' I turned around to him and said, 'because I've been in love with you for the last three years!'He still had a bitter look on his face. I felt so stupid for blurting that out, and he hadnt even taken it seriously. He just sniggered and said,'oh yeah? Well prove it!' So I kissed him. He was shocked because he stumbled back but didn't pull away, but I did and went back into class and apologised to the teacher. I got into less trouble than he did because I had apologised. He just stormed back into class looking embarrassed and confused. The next day he avoided me all together but yesterday he called round at my house and apologised for getting me into trouble. We talked for a bit and I was glad to have my friend back but then he revealed that he had broken up with his girlfriend. This confused me a lot because he didn't reveal any feelings for me but then he kissed me and told me that he would always love me. He then left and I haven't seen him since yesterday. I think I should call him to see whats going on but I'm a bit too scared to ask. I'm so confused.
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (17 December 2012):
If what you're saying is true than it sounds like he likes/loves you but doesn't know where to take things from here.
If I was you I'd ask him to come over to your house in a semi romantic way and just open up with him. Get it out there.
You obviously are incapable of being only friends with him so why torture yourself? If you find out he doesn't share your feelings (which I doubt) than you'll be better off in the long run. It will be difficult but it'll be like losing your boyfriend so that's to be expected.
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