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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a boyfriend who treats me great. He is kinda weird at times but i tell him that and he agrees. Everyone does weird things it's just some don't care to show it. Well, to get to the point, My friend was hanging out with us for a few times then yesturday she was saying how she thinks he is the type who would snap and hurt someone or something and that she thinks he is annoying. He isn't always annoying. He isn't even all that annoying. Maybe once in awhile but i tell him that and everyone is sometimes. She said today that he isn't the type of person she would hang out with. What should i do? not be friends with her because she is misjudging him and making him seem like a bad person? she seems like she doesn't even care anyways even about our friendship. My boyfriend never yells at me, controls me, or cheats or anything. I am used to getting hurt and for once i am happy but my best friend won't even hang out with us. and i don't wanna be friends with someone who thinks so bad of my boyfriend. I always choose friends first. This time is going to switch though. If she was a real friend, wouldn't she except who he is? She makes it seem like he is some big bad guy and he is far from it. I told my mom all of this and she gave me a weird look so it is just my friend who thinks this.
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Good friends will always look out for you and feel free to give their opinion whether it is warranted or not. You may not agree with your friend but it is her opinion and to an extent you have respect that. At the same time she has to respect your wishes and your opinions and without this mutual respect for one another the friendship is not going to last.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion that is what free speech is all about but, it is mutal respect for those opinions which matter. All you need to worry about is your relationship with your partner and how you want that to develop.
Maybe tell your friend that even tho you dont agree with her thoughts you wish her to respect yours as you do with hers. A good friend will do this. Tell her you know she is only looking after your best interests (i hope), you know what you are doing and you have full commitment to this relationship. If after all this she is not willing to meet you on middle ground then you have to give her space for your own benefit.
This is about you after all, not her. This would be her unwillingness to see both sides of the fence here. She may not like him as a person but she is not seeing him, so really it is not her problem and she should worry about her own life more if there is no real cause for concern.
Focus on you and your partner, discuss things with your mate and go from there.
R
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Until he proves otherwise, don't worry about it. Sometimes friends are able to see things clearly, and are looking out for you. A lot of times, however, people tend to stereotype and pass judgement before even spending enough time with someone and getting to know them. If he makes you happy, that's all that matters.
DV1
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