A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 15 and lately my friend has been bugging me, she is kinda overweight and says its weird that im two sizes smaller in clothes than her because we look the same, and the other day i did a test to find my BMI (body mass index) which shows you if you are a healthy weight or obese etc. and i got a 22 (which is healthy) and she got a 28 which means you are overweight and she said i cheated and lied about my weight. then she claimed the reason i was a smaller size in clothes was because she likes to wear her clothes baggy and i wear mine tight, when the clothes im wearing are more roomy than the ones she is wearing, i hate to sound bitchy and mean but this is really upsetting me, i value her as a friend but she is really annoying me.. what should i do?
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (30 August 2007):
Shes just insecure and jealous. Just ignore her , you know shes only saying all this stuff because she knows shes obviously bigger. Next time she does it just remember shes doing because your thinner than her and she doesnt want to admit to it and is just making excuses. You should also tell her...just because your bigger than me doesnt mean your not as beautiful.
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Blow it off. She's insecure about her weight problem, and is making excuses and putting it off on you. Be the "bigger" person and ignore it. Change the subject and move on.
She probably doesn't even know that she's being hurtful. If she says something that hurts you, you might gently say, "That's a mean thing to say." so that she's aware of it.
Other than that, I'd let it go.
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (30 August 2007):
 I agree with eyeswideopen. There really is no need to worry, so long as you are both healthy you are fine. At your ages your bodies are growing and changing all the time. Genetics also dictate our end result somewhat. We are all different indeed.
Perhaps your genes dictate a more petite frame for you than your pals do. There is nothing either of you can do about that. Its simply nature.
Your friend sounds like she is rather sensitive about her frame. When she next raises this issue you should divert the subject. Pick something you particularly like about her and complement her on it. This might help turn a negative situation into a positive one. Or you should totally ignore her statement and change the subject entirely.
This is not an issue worth loosing your friend over.
Best wishes,
Skye
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): hi hun, sounds like she's a little bit jealous that your slimmer than she is. Unfortunatley its a lot easier for her to make silly comments about you and say you lied about your weight, to make herself feel better than it is to accept that she is a lttle overweight. Dont let it ruin the frienship, try and do as eyeswideopen says and change the subject. Eventually she'll take the hint and hopefully learn to love herself the way she is or do something to change what she doesnt love. x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Let it go. If she brings it up just change the subject. This is no biggy don't let it damage your friendship. At your age girls can be very hyper-sensitive about physical issues. Your bodies grow at different rates so just let it go. You both will end up beautiful.
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