A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi ,Its been one year since my best buddy has fallen love with her colleague.Beside that her colleague has a girlfriend with whom he wants to get married. She knows it but can't help getting depressed about it.Beside that her colleague tells that he also loves her but can't be in her Future life due to caste and religion problem , he can't get married to her.She is deep pain cant sleep, cant concentrate,cant enjoy.Even When she laughs its like trying to hide her pain.She is cursing herself for being so stupid to fall in love with her When she knows is not in his future.She loves her parents more than him and want to get married to him but she cant go against her parents wish(Caste problem).She only wants some love ,appreciation and respect as he claims He also loves him.This true love which he claims is his dark side of his life which he hides from everyone as his dirty secret.This is what making my best buddy heart broken.I don't know what to do in this situation.How to help her moving on.Please give some advice What I should do to help her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2015): All you can do is comfort her as a friend; but you have to allow her to come to grips with reality.
She is refusing to accept the fact he is promised to another, and she is stubbornly dragging her own feelings in the dirt. She is acting like a spoiled child insisting on having what she wants, when she knows the answer is emphatically "NO!!!"
Leave her alone to agonize and get-over him. You can't restore her happiness. She has to bring herself around. You might also need to back-off to let her stew in her childish foolishness.
Never cater to a drama-queen. It becomes a full-time job, and her emotionalizing and melodramatics will keep you from attending to your own business. It will bring you down, and you'll lose focus over your own affairs. Are you secretly in-love with her? You seem far too involved in her love-life.
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