A
female
age
30-35,
*life1love
writes:One of my good friends is going through a separation from his wife and I am not sure what to do. We have always gotten along so well, communicated regularly, and talked about anything and everything. However, the past few weeks I have noticed a drastic change in him, which is understandable but also troubling to watch. I am trying to show him support during this painful time in his life, trying to cheer him up, but it seems like he is pushing me away, and I don't know why. In the past, there were times where he would be upset about something and in a bad mood, but he would snap out of it within a day or two. I would say a few jokes and he would be smiling again, happy and laughing, and thanking me for making his day brighter. This time is different, and I feel that whatever problems he and his wife are having, he is taking all that frustration out on me. Just last week he was his normal easygoing self, then out of the blue he did a complete about-face and said he wanted to be left alone. He told me he is going through emotional hell, and is not ready for anyone to show him love. He said he will try to explain everything when he is ready. I just do not know what to do or think.I have several friends, and I am always the one they come to when they need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to listen to them. I'm the friend everyone comes to when a crisis washes over them. It's in my heart to be there for others, and to help in any way I can. In this situation though, I almost feel worthless because I cannot take his pain away, no matter what I say or do. He is a very sensitive and kind hearted man, and all he has ever asked of me is to be there for him. Well I am TRYING! How can I be there for him if he has gone into a shell and sends my calls to voicemail? He won't talk to anyone and is isolating himself. I guess everyone handles things differently, but this whole separation with his wife is hitting him hard. Almost to the point where he just seems like a broken man. I want to contact him and make things right, but at the same time I know he needs his space. What do you all think of this situation? Do you think he will eventually come around? What are your thoughts?Any advice/comments would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 1life1love +, writes (6 April 2013):
1life1love is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to those who read and left encouraging words. I am happy to report that my friend has come out of hiding, and is doing much better than before. I am still his sympathetic ear, and will continue to be there for him.
Thanks again for your support! :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): having gone through what your friend is going through, i can tell you that he will come to you if he wants to talk about it. trust me he will need help. but let him have his space to think about things on his own first. i did not speak to anyone or see anyone for 3 months. than i went out and talked to my friends. you will get sick of him soon because there will be so many unanswered questions that he will be looking for answers. just be there and listen to him, give him your opinions, let him cry on you, shout at you as many times as he needs to, and dont take it personally. you are being a great friend dont stop. God bless you.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (12 March 2013):
 i think you just need to be patient and let him know that when he's ready to talk, you're there. then leave it be.
i'm the same way as this guy. when i go through a painful break up or something equally upsetting, i disappear for a while. it's nothing personal, but i just DON'T want to talk about it. i'm not ready. and when i get to a better place, then i come back around. but still, i don't want to talk about it.
my friends know this about me and if they kept pushing me to talk, it would just stress me out even more. so yes, with all this being said, just give him time to deal with all that he's going through. he'll come around on his own time.
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