| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship with a man for a couple of years now. Like any other relationship, we've had some problems and stuff, nothing too major. I have some serious problems. I hate the feeling of being left and lonely. My boyfriend and his friends are really the only people I have in my life (I don't have hardly any family and the family I do have I am not close with or I do not talk to ; I also don't have many friends) and I am so used to all of them that if my boyfriend and I ever split up I would kind of lose them and would have nobody else in my life. Almost as if I would be the only one left out and they would all continue to be friends and stuff and I would no longer be in their lives and for some reason that makes me sad, if that makes any sense at all haha. I would say I am very much dependent on my boyfriend and am really attached but I never talk to him about this so he doesn't know I am feeling this way. My boyfriend and I never fight and we don't have a dysfunctional relationship or anything but I feel as if my feelings are not right. I know I should be independent and have my own life but I am very confused and I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?
View related questions:
split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (12 March 2013):
You need to go to college. There are so many people there and it's incredibly easy to make friends. Not to mention it's better than sitting around watching tv.
Get financial aid, they'll pay for it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): Being co-dependent and clingy actually forces people out of your life. Sometimes people love us enough to put up with the insecurity; but it's just a matter of time before it becomes smothering. It's sad to hear you don't have many friends. It's up to you to open yourself up to people. I highly recommend that you become involved in helping people who are less fortunate. Participate in charities and become active in your community. Go to local activities and picnics; or do some volunteer work. Usually people who don't have many friends, avoid contact with others. They are isolated and lonely by choice.When you open up to people, you make friends. Helping others gives you a sense of purpose and independence. You only cling to your boyfriend because it's easier to hide behind his personality; rather than reveal your own, or the lack thereof.Get off the self-pity wagon and enjoy your youth. Push yourself out of his shadow and get some help, if you can't do it alone. It's really easier than you think. No one cares how you look, or what you have, when they know you're a good and giving person. If you don't open yourself up, you'll become the reason your relationship will not survive.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Some people, like me, are not interested in keeping in touch with people. Some people only socialize because it makes them feel normal. I don't even bother with it.
Break ups hurt so much because I put so much aspirations, and all my energies into my relationships and when they end, I felt like my world ended too. I had thought that having a boyfriend shows that I mean something, I am normal, like others. Having a break up felt like there is something wrong with me that caused me to lose the relationship.
I am very single and happy. I wish I could go back to my old clingy self when I was in a relationship, and say to myself that my life now is tranquil, and there is nothing terrifying at all about life without boyfriend.
...............................
|
