A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: One of my friends hates me even though i've done nothing wrong. I have quite a few friends but i have 2 main best friends and people i hang out with. The girl who hates me(ill call her ABI) is friends with one of my best friend(who ill call BETH). I was the one who made friends with ABI first but when she met BETH she started being horrible to me. She's also really mean to my other best friend(ill call her KATE). She keeps telling me that she hates me and to "shut up-no one likes you." All of my close friends and i went shopping but ABI was planning to univite me and KATE. I feel really hurt, because i don't quite understand what i have done to upset her. She is also quite violent and keeps hitting me or punching me and today she hit me with her tie and it really hurt. I want to be friends with her but everything i do she just tells me to go away or shut up. She keeps pushing me away and when we all sit at the table i have to sit at the edge away from her where i feel excluded. BETH keeps trying to include me but i just seem to offend ABI by being there. And im worried she's telling BETH things about me which is horrible because whenever i come over they always seem like they were talking about me, saw me coming, and changed the subject. I would just hang out with someone else but BETH has been my best friend for 8 years and i don't want to lose her as a friend. What can i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Look, if Beth is gonna let herself be swayed by the opinions of others, then she is not worth the trouble. She has known you for almost a decade, almost your entire lives, and if she is gonna just throw that away at the slightest seed of doubt planted by someone she has known for far less time, and who has an obvious grudge against you, then let her go.
There will be other friends. Just try not to hold grudges yourself, as this only hurts you in the long run.
Elsewise get all three of your together and don't mince words. Ask ABI directly what issues she has with you and why, given you have done nothing harmful purposely if indeed you have done something she finds insulting and doesn't like.
Flynn 24
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