A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so..... My best friends boyfriend, who is one of her first, and she just got together with, is pretty dangerous according to a few of his past girlfriends. He smokes weed and has "touched" his past girlfriends against their will (take in mind that im in 8th grade). He even asked a few of them if they would have sex with them. I really care about my friend but I dont know what to do!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): You can't keep her out of this. But you can force her to learn from it.
Just make her face the truth right now. Make her admit every one of these bad things (that you told us about him) out loud to you. Then ask her what she intends to do if she ends up feeling like he's bad news but she has gotten too attached to him to break it off by the time she sees that. Of course she won't have a good answer to this.
Then you have to just back off, stop trying to prevent this thing, and let the whole thing play out for a while.
Eventually she will start complaining about his problems. When she does, just keep making her face the truth that she knew all along what she was getting into. Just keep reminding her that she's not suffering from unfortunate problems that fell out of the sky. She's dealing with the problems that she picked out for herself on purpose.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, I was also wondering how I should tell her..... It's not like I can just walk up to her and day 'Your boyfriends a jerk and you need to dump him now' and walk away. Please help?
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 Very little you can do. Young girls don't have a danger sense. Young boys will happily dive from 10 meters into a pool shallow water and break their neck. Young girls will happily dive into relationships with guys that are sure to break their heart.
If you give her advice, she will ignore it. You would do the same thing. Nobody understands him, he only needs someone to love him etc etc.
Still means you got to tell her or you wouldn't be a friend, just don't get your hopes up. Teenage girls and sensible advice do NOT mix.
Tell her what you heard, but be prepared to become the enemy. It is what true friends do. Maybe she is the one teenage girl in the world who can listen. You never know.
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