A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice about my friend, as I'm worried about her. She's 19 years old and a lot more immature and naive than me. She gets easily taken advantage of by men that want to use her and I'm worried she's going to end up pregnant or even worse, get a disease.She doesn't use protection because she hasn't got the balls to tell them to use a condom. She's just so pathetic sometimes, so insecure, that she feels she has to please them and by asking them to use a condom, she's upsetting them or they won't enjoy it as much.I've tried to tell he that she's worth more than that and the risks are very high doing stuff like this. These guys just see her coming, she's so young in her head and she isn't very worldly wise. She wouldn't cope well if she did get pregnant or caught anything, I just feel like she needs a wake up call but she doesn't listen!! Her mum knows she's sleeping with this guy in particlular but hasn't even spoken to her about contraception or anything. I don't know how to get through to her, any advice?
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female
reader, chachacha +, writes (4 June 2006):
Well you can talk to her about it or buy her a book or something - maybe go with her to the doctor to get the pill at least, if she is too shy to tell a bloke to wear a condom, maybe buy her some condomns to keep about her person.
At the end of the day, however, unless she is very stupid, she knows exactly what she is doing and however strange it seems to you, she has a weird reason why she is doing this.
She has to lead her own life - you cannot live it for her - and all through our lives our friends make mistakes that we want to prevent them making, but can't.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (4 June 2006):
 You are clearly a good mate to being worried about her. She is a lucky girl to have your friendship! In your situation, I would take her along to a family planning clinic so she can get some objective advice from a nurse or doctor. Coming from you or her mother, advice will seem like just another lecture. Some people respond better to advice from a so-called expert. Don't be too frustrated if she doesn't want to cooperate however - remember that you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.
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