A
male
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anonymous
writes:Boy am I messed up...and would appreciate some advice!On the 1st of May, me and my girlfriend of 5 1/2yrs (i'm 25 and she's 22) made a decision to split up - we both agreed 'something was missing' from our relationship...we weren't unhappy - but the fact this 'thing' was missing was causing problems......i didn't see her for 3 weeks (but we still texted and stuff), and we then met up and went for a drink (19th May) - we had a lovely night...and ended up making love in the car on the way home!Another week passed by, and we went to the cinema (27th May)...again a lovely night - and we ended up in her bed making love again.We talked quite a lot, and although we were quite clear on the 'we are NOT together' thing - we did admit that we both fancy each other, and love each other. She even told me she'd told her mum this too...I've done my thinking, and want to give it another shot...however - out of the blue she told me on 1st June that she wants no contact with me for at least another 3 weeks...so we haven't text or anything.What do I do?I realise i need to give her the time she has requested - but in the space of a week, she has gone from telling me she still loves me and making love to me...to saying we can't move on unless we have no contact at all for a set time.I love this girl, i always have and always will - and it seemed a week ago she was the same...but now has cut all contact!I think i know what was missing from our relationship...and think we can fix it - i just need to talk to her BEFORE we throw away all we've had.Can you help me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys, thanks for your advice.I've done as she asked and haven't contacted her - apart from a text on Monday wishing her luck with an exam she has...and I'll text her again wishing her luck with another she has.All i can do really is hold on, and when i see her later in the month - hope her feelings for me are still strong...or come rushing back so to speak.Its hard, and i'm hurting real bad......interestingly she replied to my text thanking me and said my thoughts 'are appreciated' and she asked how i was - to wish i simply said "don't worry about me, concentrate on your exams".She says she is 'not so bad...but messed up'!!
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (4 June 2006):
 I am with you on this. I am going through it also. Time man time. She obviously still loves you. Like anon said you have to give her that space that she asks for. It hurts like hell but trust me its worth it. Your task now is to focus on you. Make yourself a better person. This takes your mind off missing her and takes the edge off not having that intamacy. She is thinking about you just as much as you are thinking about her trust me. My situation is looking up because I have been through the space thing and missing her and no contact. It will work out for the best but don't waste time sulking go out and have fun. Rediscover you. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2006): i am currently in the same situation as you and i can tell you from experience the more you try and chase her the more she'll pull away. I understand how difficult it is not to have any contact its killing me inside not to have the contact with someone you love so deeply but you have to think of the bigger picture and if you put to much pressure on when she wants space it may make her end it completely
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