A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with this guy for 3 months and things are great between us and it was my best friend *Hannah who got us together in the first place cause she knew I liked him and wouldn't say anything to him about it so she told him and it turned out he liked me too and he asked me out the next day.Not long after we first started going out Hannah said to me stuff like - "Oh you are aware you aren't going to last, you are going to get hurt" then a few days later change her mind to something like - "I can easily see you two in a years time".It didn't really get on my nerves until she started going out with this guy *JJ. JJ isn't the problem, she is. They went all the way. I knew they would, she told me they would and it didn't suprise me that they did but Hannah is taking things too far and it's nothing really to do with her relationship.By that I mean she is going back to her negative and positive ways. During one of our msn conversations we were trying to describe how we feel about our boyfriends. It didn't bother me until she told me to take how I feel about my boyfriend and triple it for that's how she feels about JJ. I did go mental at her and she told me I'm only feeling this certain way cause he is my 1st boyfriend. I've tried to ignore her but then this little conversation happened.Hannah: "how far have you two got?"Me : "Anything I've told you"Hannah: "What Seriously!?"Me : "Yeah"Hannah: "what's taking you guys so long?"Me : "Were not you and JJ." she started laughing after that.She keeps telling me stuff what she does with JJ although she knows I don't want to know about it and now it's really annoying me cause she doesn't shut up about her sex life most of the time. She doesn't want anyone to say anything to anyone else but she goes around telling people anyway although she keeps saying she wants to keep it a secret.She practically told me too and it feels like she is trying to put pressure on me to have sex with my boyfriend although she knows I don't want to. She is trying to tell me how I feel about my boyfriend and she keeps saying to me one minute that me and him aren't going to last and the next we are. It's really really really annoying me!I've told 4 close friends but not my boyfriend about what she has been saying to me. (I'm not the only one annoyed at her, a lot of people are, for different reasons. She is slowly making herself an outcast without realising it.)She knows what she is doing but she doesn't know how annoyed I am at her. I really really don't know what to do.help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): hey. don't let that girl get you down.
Whatever you do, just don't get peer pressured into having sex when you do not want to. These people are the lowest of the lows. If she really is a friend, she wouldn't say things like this and try to pressure you into doing things. A girl is like that at my school. She just wants attention & no one likes her. & I also think you should stop talking to her about your relationship with your boyfriend. She may use it against you two. and most definitly, don't tell her when you guys have sex or something. etc. etc. be very cautious with her!
A
female
reader, Niema.x  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 im suspecting your friend is ages 13-15 like you. Tell her your not slow at all , your not even legal yet and shes the one whos going to regret it when 'JJ' moves on to another girl willing to give it up so easy x
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A
female
reader, justme..x +, writes (10 April 2009):
 Hi :) its always awkward when your friends change for the worst, I understand how annoying and difficult it must be for you. Hopefully this will help a bit! :D
I have a theory: I think that before you and your boyfriend started going out/at the beginning of your relationship, Hannah liked him. Her jealousy would explain the slightly bitchy comments about how you two won't last. I think she then felt guilty as you two are best friends, and changed tack to be nice and supportive.
To help her get over her feelings for your bf, she decided to go out with someone of her own, and set about to outdo you in her own relationship. The comments about her being further on that you, and her feeling more than you, are I think to convince herself and you that she is just as happy/good as you.
However, this may be completely wrong, especially as you say about her acting annoying to lots of people. Has it occured to you that she is unhappy? Perhaps she has problems at home, or is unhappy with JJ. Problems can make people insecure, and change the way they act around people, even their friends.
But I really really think you need to tell her how much it's getting to you. You say she is unknowingly making herself an outcast, and as her best friend you should not let that happen. Just talk to her gently and honestly about the way she seems to be changing, and how it's upset you. However, don't launch a theory (if you work one out) about why you think she has changed - I don't think that'll go down very well! If you two are close best friends, you should be able to come through this, and make it clear that you WANT to.
Good luck; hope I helped :)
xxx
(feel free to msg me anytime with questions or an update!)
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A
male
reader, guywhocare  +, writes (10 April 2009):
Dear
Tell your friend politly that you are annoyed and let her understand how and why.
If she still annoyed just be out of her friendship but keep saying hi as not closed friends do.
Wish you luck
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