A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi my friend has recently told me hes becoming addicted to glue sniffing and doesnt know how to stop or what to do. how can i help him without being pushy and tellin him to go to the doctors or help groups - hes made that clear that he doesnt want me to help him in that way. What can i say to him? i dont know what to do and i feel so useful and such a bad friend Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007): Accelerants hollow out the brain. It is a most unfortunate addiction to have. I say you should talk to someone at an addictions centre and work out with them how to handle your own stress and pain over your friends abuse.
They may offer you to "hi-jack" him, kinda like an intervention where you stop in a clinic with him. Or take him a doctors.
What is his history with accelerants? Did he have a turbulent childhood? You can take away this "coping mechanism" which most addictions stem from-a need to obliterate the horrors and/or pains of childhood traumas, but the pain will still be there. He needs to be taught on how to cope and deal with the traumas and counselling is the key.
Sometimes, all we can do, after doing are best, is hope and pray they will reach bottom and desire that way out-have one glimmer of self love, self worth left to save themselves.
You are a good friend.
Best Wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the help guys, thing is i still dont know what to say to him when he starts talking about it, I dont want to start lecturing him so i kinda sit there and have nothing to say
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A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (5 May 2007):
 you are not a bad friend trust me you just want to get him help but the thing is you can help some one who doesnt want it he will more then likely in the futer but not now and if you force it it wont get any where and he'll keep using just to be a bugger trust me I know a lot of people who have had problems simmaler to this and they'ev just been honest and said "so many places want to help me at the moment but I just don't want it right now" so let him come to you when he's ready
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007): First of all you aren't a bad friend. With any addiction or habit that anyone has, you can't make that person stop, eat or change. It is their decision. When they start realising that people don't want to be around them, lend them money and they eventually have no friends or social contact or are seen as having a problem, the isolation might make them wise up if they care. If they don't, they need help. Whether it is to be dropped off at an emergency room or police station. My sister was anorexic and I remember trying to make her eat an apple. It ended in a physical fight. She wouldn't do it, it was like sniffing glue, snorting something or injecting.
Clearly your friend is unhappy, desperate, needs to get high to get out of 'something' that drives him to get a hit. It doesn't matter whether it's glue, alcohol, drugs...it is something that takes over your life. I remember seeing kids outside the leisure centre back home sniffing glue and pissing their pants in front of your eyes. I was 7 and remember my Mum trying to go up and help them. This is hard, but you have to make them see the effects of their choices, their behaviour - being the reliable person to get them home, cover up for them makes you the mug, the doormat and believe me they won't know what you did or how much you cared as a friend to them. If they don't want help then when they get into trouble you tell the hospital or police exactly what is going on, what they've done that night, no covering up, no questions asked. I admire that you want to help but don't get yourself embroiled into this world, it is horrible, easily something to want to help or get involved with. Addicts want someone to always get them out, get them a fix, cover for them, give them a hug, listen to them...meanwhile you are the one suffering and believe me they are too stoned to know how you feel.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (5 May 2007):
 It's impossible to get help for a problem before you acknowledge it exists. If this friend of yours is over 18 I suppose that much as it hurts you have to let him make his own mistakes. I can't remember its name but am sure you can google the helpline for people who know solvent abusers. Call them for support and further guidance but don't push your friend into doing anything. It could cause more harm than good.
CD
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