A
female
age
41-50,
*likenight
writes:Do people get depressed and not really want to interact with others when they are trying to sober up? My friend is an alcoholic and she went to rehab and she's trying to stay sober, but I haven't heard from her and she used to call me a lot. I saw her last weekend at her sister's wedding and she was withdrawn and quiet. She didn't even try to talk to me. She looked odd. I don't know if she's just depressed, her b,f, dumped her before she went into rehab and that's why she flew off the handle so her mom made her go to rehab. She hasn't told me that her b.f. dumped her, I found out through another friend. She used to call me like every other day and I am afraid to call her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): I'm going through that right now. She doesn't want to talk to you because of guilt and self loathing and not wanting to be under a microscope...especially to those who she knows disapproved of her behaviour. That's why I haven't even told my family. If you want to keep in touch with her, then don't mention one word about rehab or not drinking. Talk about whatever you had in common that has nothing to do with alcohol.Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): The thing is, yummy mummy, I don't know if she really has gotten herself sorted. She lied to me a lot and said she wasn't drinking when in fact she had. So I am reluctant to trust her because I don't want to be lied to again. I'd think if she was sober, she'd feel good about herself and would be contacting me. We were like best friends, I used to live with her and everything.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 She may be nervous of coming near you incase you still "dissapprove" of her. She may need to know that as much as you hated what she was doing, now that she's got herself sorted you want to be there for her.
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, ilikenight +, writes (28 August 2007):
ilikenight is verified as being by the original poster of the question No I do not drink b/c I am pregnant. I did used to drink but no where near as much as she did. And she knows I disapproved of her behavior very much.
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hey hun, It is normal for people who came out of rehab not to want to talk to any one for a while. If she use to drink with you then she may not want to hang out with you, in rehab they tell you when you get out dont hang out with the ones you like to drink with, because then you will just relaps. But i would call her and talk to her, and just show her that you care, if she refuses to talk to you then just give her some time to think things over. but call her and let her know you care. when i got out of rehab it was hard, because all my friends was doing the things i got introuble for but if you are a true friend you will do sober things with her.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (28 August 2007):
I went "over the edge" a few years back. I had been a terrible teenager, doing a lot worse then the normal teenage rebelling. I hurt many people. When I finally admitted I had a problem and got help I pushed away a lot of people while I sorted myself out. I don't think I knew it at the time, but looking back I think it was because I needed to sort myself out on my own. The people I stopped talking to didn't try and stay in touch so I have no idea if we would of stayed in touch or not.
Try calling her. The longer you leave it the harder it will be. She might be scared to call you, or feeling ashamed for what she was like. Just let her know you're still there for her.
xxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 August 2007):
 She is probably going through all sorts of emotions right now and more than likely thinks everyone is against her, her boyfriend finished with her and her mom put her in rehab, so i would say give her a reasurring call tell her that you have been thinking about her, that you hope she is ok and you would love to catch up.
You can only try if she is that much of a friend then she is worth a phone call babe.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (28 August 2007):
 I hope the counselors at the rehab are working with her. Don't take her lack of interest in you personally. What she's going through is so huge. What she is hopefully doing is trying to concentrate on herself in a new way. Trying to discover what makes her tick and why she handles life with alcohol. Yes, people get *very* depressed, especially when they first get to rehab. Give her some time away from prodding questions and general concern. I can imagine that she just wants to be left alone for now. She may reach out to you before you know it. If you're not sure how she feels about your friendship now, wait a few weeks, and then send her a letter or email.
Take care.
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