A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My mate was getting into some personal trouble, so I recently told him that I care about him a hell of a lot because he's the closest thing I have to a best mate. He doesn't show his emotions except on rare occasions to me when he says he “can't help it; it just happens”. He trusts me more than anyone else and we are actually pretty close friends but in a “he won't admit it” way. I suppose we argue quite a bit but it's just because we understand each other more than other people we know understand us. We tried to have a private conversation about it all on a staircase by our classroom but people from our class kept coming in, haha. We both laughed it off but I think I was more affected by it than he was even though we both wanted to talk about it - me more so. However, he has seemed more awkward around me whenever he's realised I do give a crap about him because few people in his life do. I don't know what I can do if he keeps getting awkward, yet we both need to talk about it or it all builds up. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2012):
 I totally understand but you are not a therapist and you cannot help him until he wants help. It is obvious at the moment he is dealing with things the wrong way, but if you push him to talk then he will only push you away from him. Be there for him as a friend. Tell him you are there for him if he ever needs someone to talk to, but don't push him on it. He needs to learn himself how to deal with his problems, however hard it is for you to watch him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf I leave it he'll stay closed like a hermit.
His emotions build up an turn into anger towards himself and he hits walls and I hate seeing him like that because I know I'm the only one he'll talk to and can calm him down when he's like that.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (3 March 2012):
My guess is that he is insecure and he does not know how to deal with someone actually caring about him. If it is all new to him and he doesn't know what to do well then he is going to get awkward and it will look like he is pushing you away. It sounds like he has had a hard time and there really is no point you pushing anything on him, because the more you show him that you care the more he will back off. It sounds like he is afraid of getting hurt that is why he does not show his emotions to often. It might take time but just be there for him. Don't over do it though, let him talk to you if he wants, or come to you if he wants. But don't over crowd him. Give him some space to get things clearer in his head.
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